Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy #4 and *SPOILERS*

Dino-Sucks

Written by Jody Houser
Pencils by Adriana Melo
Inks by Mark Morales & Wade Von Grawbadger
Colors by Hi-Fi
Cover Price: $3.99
On Sale Date: December 11, 2019

**NON SPOILERS AND SCORE AT THE BOTTOM**

Hey, some more of that cross-country travelin’ with your old buds Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. Or something like that. I think the main thing this story is supposed to do is get us hip to the fact that Pamela is part of the Green. Or whatever. It’s kind of a mess, as you’ll find out in my review of Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy #3, right here!

Explain It! 

Maybe you don’t know about The Green, as first described during Alan Moore’s run as writer on Saga of the Swamp Thing. The Green is the worldwide—even universal essence that ties together all plant life. Even when plants are separated from the ground, they are part of The Green. The tree outside? Part of The Green. That begonia you got from you aunt that you never water? Part of The Green. The lettuce on your hamburger deluxe? That’s part of The Green too, buster. And all things that are part of The Green can be manipulated by Swamp Thing. And Poison Ivy, after being resurrected by Wally West, apparently. And, uh, Floronic Man I guess too. Anyone else capable of manipulating one of the hugest powers in the DC Universe? Or are we waiting for Moss Batman to complete the group?

So that’s why Harley and Ivy are driving through a desert, see: they are avoiding the Floronic Man who can track them through The Green. Get it? There are hardly any plants in the desert! Never mind cacti and grasses and the hundreds of other forms of plant life that can be found in every desert. As defined by Alan Moore, an avatar of The Green can even manipulate the flora in human digestive tracks. The frighteningly awesome aspect of The Green that makes Swamp Thing a near God is that plants are everywhere, in some form or fashion. Like, you can’t hide from The Green, because it’s the undercurrent of existence.

So what other idiotic stuff happens in this issue…Harley insists on stopping at the roadside attraction Dino World, where a disgruntled employee has murdered a patron and kidnapped a bunch of people? I don’t know what the hell this plot is about, it seems tacked on, even though it’s the main story. All of the plants in Dino Land are fake, so Poison Ivy can’t thwart this weird lady nerd. Until she can, all of a sudden. Later, though Ivy has demonstrated that there are plants nearby right in the ground, Floronic Man manifests through some half-eaten lettuce. Harley and Ivy skedaddle, and that’s when Ivy realizes that the Floronic Man is tracking them—by having lodged himself in her upper arm! Harley hacks it off with a machete, but it’s okay because Poison Ivy is now able to regrow her limbs and even the entire self, as needed.

Which was the entire fucking point of this whole issue, as far as I can tell. Not only was the Dino-Rama story stupid, but it was also hackneyed and insipid. The rules of The Green contradicted themselves, which is sloppy. The entire editorial team should be ashamed of themselves for letting claptrap like this through. On the plus side, this might have been the most consistent issue Adriana Melo has drawn. But it is still a piece of crap.

Bits and Pieces:

I will save you the cost of the cover price and reveal that Poison Ivy can now regrow herself a la Swamp Thing. Spoilers for a thing that no one cares about.

3/10