Izzat Et? Cor, Essa Laugh
Writer: Tim Seeley
Penciller: Davide Fabbri
Inker: Christian Dalla Vecchia
Colorist: Carrie Strachan
Letterer: Sal Cipriano
Cover Artist: Tim Seeley with Chris Sotomayor
Variant Cover Artist: Sean Phillips
Editor: Kristy Quinn
Group Editor: Jim Chadwick
Cover Price: $3.99
On Sale Date: July 25, 2018
**NON SPOILERS AND SCORE AT THE BOTTOM**
It’s the
final issue! And you won’t need a tissue! No, we’re not gonna miss you, The
Hellblazer comic! Here’s
my final review of the series, just below!
Explain
It!
I’ve said before, while reviewing this series,
that John Constantine is not my favorite character. I do like him, but really I
am a big Swamp Thing fan, and since Constantine grew out of a series with that
character, and because Jim and Eric have no patience for the magic side of the
DCU, it’s fallen to me to be ol’ Silk Cuts advocate here at Weird Science DC
Comics. I don’t mind; like I said, I do like the character, I just perceived
him as being a bit one-dimensional in the past: a super-powerful magician
wracked with guilt over the necessary sacrifices he’s made to save reality. And
a chain-smoker. One could say more than that, but it’s describes Constantine in
a nutshell.
The problem with Constantine in the DCU is that
most writers have concentrated on John’s guilt-complex and how he uses his
friends to belay demons, and have fairly well missed the point that he’s a
powerful magician. To wit: a character that solves problems by speaking in
riddles for several pages as a distraction is not one that is interesting to
read about. Perhaps if this series was a movie, then I wouldn’t balk at the
exposition. But it’s not a movie, it’s a comic book, and a somewhat bloated
one, at that. I just want to see the guy do some flipping magic in every issue,
is that so wrong?
I’m in luck here, in this issue, where
every-fucking-thing happens. Possessed Margaret tries to mess with Constantine,
but he’s got a little trick up his sleeve: a hypodermic needle filled with
vampire’s blood that he picked up a couple of issues ago. Plunging this into Margaret’s
neck, she is turned into a vampire, so she can’t go traipsing around in the
daylight like she might have wanted. John offers Burke Day, the criminal ghost
possessing Margaret, a shiny new body: the Huntress’. Assuming the rites to
make it happen, Constantine then unleashes the Huntress’ ghostly mob-connected
father to seek revenge, and…you know what? I’m demeaning both myself and you,
the reader by continuing to describe this crap.
This was one of the biggest comic book rip-offs
in recent memory. Everything worth talking about happens in this issue, and
none of it is really all that spellbinding. The previous five issues were
absolute doggerel, existing to expand a story that could easily have been told
in two issues into a six-issue story arc, ready to be collected for the trade.
We spent all of that time with Constantine doing no magic, making alliances
with demons and securing artifacts for one of the most convoluted and stupid
conclusions to a story, like something from a grade schoolers’ fever dream.
Davide Fabbri’s art is serviceable, but nothing to write home about. This book
depended on a gripping story with coherent characters, and it has not really
delivered since Constantine was folded into the DCU proper in 2011. Just give
it a rest, folks. Maybe there’s a salient way to fit Constantine into regular
DC continuity, but fuck if anyone at the publisher has figured it out yet.
Bits and
Pieces:
Constantine saves the day by pissing everyone off, and actually performing a magic rite for the first time since this whole story arc began. This story was bloated and boring, and its conclusion is neither satisfying or amusing. Put this character back in the box until you figure out what it is you want to do with him. And "maximize his profitability" is not a good enough reason, Didio.
3.5/10
They need to quit trying to stuff Constantine into the "regular" DC Universe. Vertigo (Where the F-Bombs fly freely) is where he belongs, period. They need to finally learn the same lesson with Punisher over at Marvel too. There are just some characters who don't play nice with superheroes.
ReplyDeleteThey just keep trying and failing!
DeleteI'm the minority who likes Constantine to be part of the regular DC Universe and it appears as though nobody has thought of the probability that he hasn't found a fitting writer. Tim Seeley was actually decent and I enjoyed his work on rebirth Hellblazer. However it could be just me because I've never been let down as a reader by Seeley.
DeleteWhat made the original hellblazer great, was the dialogue and characterization of Conjob..not this magic stuff.
ReplyDeleteHe wasn't really that great a magician, he was more of a con-man who knew magic. He mostly used his brains, guile and the old double-cross to win the day. I miss those days.
DeleteThe jab aimed at Didio was the best way to close this review. As expected of Reggie Hemingway the novelist of our hearts.
ReplyDelete