All’s Well That Ends Weird
Story: Rob Williams
Penciller: Scot Eaton
Inker: Wayne Faucher
Backup Story Artist: Wilfredo Torres
Colors: Adriano Lucas
Lettering: Pat Brosseau
Cover Artists: Tony S. Daniel, Danny Miki & Tomeu
Morey
Cover Price: $2.99
On Sale Date: December 27, 2017
**NON SPOILERS AND SCORE AT THE
BOTTOM**
Here it is, the conclusion of “The Secret of Task
Force X!” So far, the secret has been that giant monster dinosaurs are actually
psychic vampires and Harley Quinn is a prat fallin’ kook. Perhaps you’ll find
some clarity in reading my review of Suicide
Squad #32, right here!
Explain
It!
It’s no secret that I have been critical of this
story arc. For one thing, you can find my reviews of this series, and reviews
for all of DC Comics’ books on this very website. For another thing, I have
pissed and moaned about the same basic problem: this thing is six issues when
it probably could have been two. I’ve been saying “probably” because, without
knowing how it ends, I can’t rightly say how many issues it might have
contained. But since the only things of major consequence happened in issue
#29, and the other issues have deposited us at the end more or less where we
began, I felt pretty good about my assumption. I figured a bombastic final
issue would essentially be the only other issue worth reading, aside from #29,
and it might have made a neat little story if not for entire issues of people
standing around yelling at each other while a hideous monster talks to them in
stupid-looking word balloons. And the real point of contention here is that
loyal readers are shelling out money for this stuff, and charging us 18 bucks
for six bucks worth of story—well, it’s ripping us off by two-thirds, according
to my math.
Having read the final issue in this arc, however, I
must issue a correction: this story need not have been told in two issues.
Indeed, it could have been told in one. Perhaps an oversized annual might have
been required, but for all the import of the secret revelations of the original
Suicide Squad—namely that Rick Flag, Karin and Faraday have been held in Red
Wave’s thrall for decades, and so placed themselves in stasis to save the
galaxy—really isn’t that big of a mind-bender. I mean, I guess it’s kind of
fucked up, to resign one’s self to being a virtual ghost in order to maintain
the status quo, but since we don’t really know or care about these characters,
I don’t really see what the big deal is. What other people are holding back interstellar cataclysms by their
sheer will of existence? That’s what I wanna know. We oughta throw them a
parade or something.
So the Phantom Zone is leaking from the moon vault,
because the Phantom Zone is more like a viscous substance than a dimension in
this book, but it is summarily dispensed by a remote door-closing triggered
aboard Karin’s satellite. Which has Red Wave tethered to it and is being flown
into the sun. Rick Flag Jr. made a promise to his grandfather that he wouldn’t
let Karin die, so he sends the Suicide Squad out to kill Red Wave by hand, by
threat of brain bomb explosion. He tries to hold Harley back, but she goes out
with her posse and tells Rick it’s over between them. Rick proves to be
prepared to sacrifice Killer Croc to Red Wave’s gaping maw, but Katana falls
upon its scaly, four-eyed head and plunges her sword into its melon which kills
him. And back on Earth, Killer Croc is all fucked up by his experience and
doesn’t wanna be Enchantress’ boyfriend any more.
Over at the cave containing Faraday and the other
part of Red Wave’s heart, Amanda Waller and the other members of the Suicide
Squad do literally nothing except act as the explanation for why they’re not in
space. You could have just held them back at Belle Reve because there weren’t
enough spacesuits, that would have done just as well. Show El Diablo kicking
back with a Margarita and reading a MAD
magazine or something. This issue could be detailed in a paragraph and a lot of
it could have been excised. This story expanded longer than my waistline after
Christmas dinner. And unlike Christmas Dinner, it wasn’t served buffet style so
I read every issue. Disappointing.
Bits and
Pieces:
Reaching the conclusion of this otherwise mediocre story was like swimming through rapidly-setting concrete. There were never any great stakes, and the incredible things that will change the Suicide Squad forever are, in fact, quite credible. And what's up with the Phantom Zone in this book? I half expect it to get rolled into hi-bounce balls and shot from a spud cannon next. Which, thinking about it now, would be kind of cool. But not six issues of it.
5/10
Agree entirely. Dropping Suicide Squad after this arc. Terrible and taking its readers for granted.
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