Everybody Hurts
Written by: Steve Orlando
Art by: Kelley Jones, Michelle Madsen and Josh Reed
Cover Price: $4.99
Release Date: November 29, 2017
A 40 page issue of Justice League of America?!? Somebody up there must hate me! Well, at least we all get to look at the pretty Kelley Jones art! So, how was it? Do you really need to ask?
The issue begins with a little revisionist history as to why Batman asked Lobo to join the JLA...seems the war that Batman was telling everyone about was actually the fight with the Might Beyond the Mirror. Kind of makes it a lot smaller than I thought. So when is Simon Baz showing up, by the way?
We also find out what was promised to the Main Man in return. The location of the Space Dolphins Homeworld. Yea, that is a thing with Lobo, but Steve Orlando once again just grabs onto a surface level bit of history and runs wild with it. Up to this point, it's not that bad...and then we get Batman. Steve Orlando must have heard Batman is tied up in Metal right now, but still forces him into the issue with one of the most ridiculous panels I have ever seen. It's dialogue that would make the Superfriends sound like Shakespeare! We continue with Lobo telling Canary more of the truth (he's going to kill people who hurt Space Dolphins) and him cursing her out, you know, to get her to come along.
After a quick stop at the Heaven's Undercarriage for no apparent reason, it's off to space. There we get more of the Steve Orlando staple...characters taling to each other, but nobody listening. Black Canary says that Space is beautiful and Lobo asks if she's afraid of falling off his Space Hog. Lovely.
We then get a continuation of young Lobo and I know that this is supposed to be funny and even touching, but it's all just laughable...in a very bad way. Then after the 100th use of "frag", I had enough!!! It's all a setup to find out the origin of the word "tribb" and then read through page after page after page of pretty much nothing. Well, there is something, but it's not that interesting. Lobo picks Canary to fight for him in an ancient Czarnian ritual, she uses the Canary Cry and Lobo gets Dolphin backup.
It all ends with Lobo saving the dolphins, the dolphins talking to Lobo, Canary arguing...oh, who cares anymore! This Annual is just awful!
On a side note, I mentioned how much I love Kelley Jones art and his style fits Lobo, but not really Black Canary. So, unfortunately, the art isn't the savior this book needs. I believe that would be a whole new creative team...stat!
Bits and Pieces:
If you like your Annuals to give you more of what you get from the regular series, here it is. The regular series is awful and this Annual is more of that awful. Avoid this at all costs, especially the $4.99 that you will be ripped off buying it!
3.0/10
For fuck's sake, I was looking forward to this comic. It's like Steve Orlando's comics' equivalent to Uwe Boll, complete with the reverse Midas touch; everything he touches, even something that seems mildly promising, ends up turning to shit.
ReplyDeleteEveryone is entitled to like or dislike anything but I gotta admit...every time I come here, you guys hate everything! Maybe you guys just aren't that much in to comics anymore—and that's fine—but maybe you should take that in to consideration when you read/rate these books.
ReplyDeletereally? i have over 2000 reviews and have an avg rating of 7.5/10...this week, i gave a book a 9.4 and another an 8.9/10. so, when a book is complete garbage like this one (and on comicbookroundup.com there is another 3 and a 2.5/10), i think what needs to happen is the book needs to get better!
DeletePlus, most sites only review books they like so they seem more positive when if you look at it that way, they don't even think the book is worth reviewing which is way more negative than any score we can give. Case in point, right now there are 16 reviews for Batman Annual, but 5 for this book and only 2 for Green Arrow Annual. But we should "take that into consideration? Why not go to whatever site you enjoy over ours and ask them why they aren't reviewing all these other book? Books like The Hellblazer that only had 2 reviews last week or Kamandi Challenge that had 4 reviews or The Ruff & Reddy Show that had 3. Guess what? We reviewed them all.
Realize that in reviewing some of the crap books others don't touch, the scores may look more negative than others
Plus, why does review scores have any thing to do with being into comics anymore. You think a movie critic who doesn't like a bunch of movies, isn't into movies anymore? Or a food critic who gives a bunch of bad reviews isn't into eating? This is not a FAN SITE, it is a comic review site. We review comics on their merits, not because we are fans who love every single thing that is out there and want to gush over it because it is called a comic.
Deletebtw, I looked and I personally have given 7 issues a score above 9 this month. Would you rather we give every issue a 10/10 so nothing carries any weight. You win, I will just give every issue a 10/10 and save myself a whole bunch of time and effort. Plus, I'm sure DC would invite me to their summer picnics and sleepovers.
Now, the next time you don't like something and actually tell someone your honest opinion, think of me shaking my head at you and saying you're not into whatever it is you're talking about.
Haha classic jim explosion...jimplosion? But yea fact is your right as a comic review site you're kinda supposed to review comics that said people need to relax jim scoring your favorite comic as a 3 in no way take your enjoyment from it these guys run a website for comics that they buy with there own money (unless they became divas :p) the comment section is for your opinion sure but why the nonsense fake hate controversy bs lol
Delete"Everyone is entitled to like or dislike anything but I gotta admit...every time I come here, you guys hate everything" It doesn't help that Steve Orlando is a shit writer.
DeleteI see Steve Orlando finally had enough and responded s
Deletei'm supposed to be watching my blood pressure and i am....rising!
ReplyDelete"The location of the Space Dolphins Homeworld." I'm pretty sure it had been mentioned in previous comics that Space Dolphins no longer had a homeworld, that they were an endangered species protected by Lobo.
ReplyDeleteThe art looks like it's trying to be a call-back to Simon Bisley's in a way.
ReplyDelete