Hal Done a Bad Thing
Writer: Robert Vendetti
Penciller: Rafa Sandoval
Inker: Jordi Tarragona
Colorist: Tomeu Morey
Letterer: Dave Sharpe
Cover: Sandoval, Tarragona and Morey
Cover Price: $2.99
On Sale Date: May 10, 2017
**NON SPOILERS AND SCORE AT THE BOTTOM**
I can no longer remember the details, but I do
remember the feeling of being caught in a lie as a kid. That wave of nausea, a
sort of prickling feeling in the back of the head as your mind races while
considering a cover-up. Of course, it rarely worked. I recall that my brother
was accused of lighting fire to a garbage can, and he lied and said a dog came
by and ignited it. I mean, the gall of him! We see a similar situation with Hal
Jordan and this week’s issue of Hal
Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps. Wanna know about it? Read the comic
book! Or check out my review, it’s cheaper.
Explain It!
Since Hal Jordan’s full-on frontal military-style
assault didn’t succeed last issue, Corps leader John Stewart goes to plan B: an
even BIGGER full-on frontal military style assault! He and a detail of Green
and Yellow Corps members (let’s call ‘em “Greenies” and “Yellahs” like they
probably would in the military) hop in their super bad-ass warship constructs
to rendezvous with Hal, already engaging the pointy enemy…and it’s not going so
well. Even some fancy construct turrets can’t make a dent on these things,
because (as Hal figures out) they’re constructs themselves! Which shouldn’t
make a difference, really, Green Lanterns have had construct fights against
each other in the past. But I’ll explain this away with Hal’s revelation that
he created these monsters by ditching Krona’s glove on an uninhabited planet
back in issue #1 of the series. Or was that the Rebirth issue? One of the two. See, what’s happening is basically
all Hal’s fault, a by-product of him manufacturing a ring of pure willpower…he
was too willful.
Back on that dead planet, Sarko is still holding
Gorin-Sunn and Space Ape hostage, basically so he can crow about how dominant
he is. Supervillains need to boast a lot, and if there’s no one immediately
around to listen, it just looks weird. He’s still singing the same song about
the combination of the Sinestro Corps and Green Lanterns being an abomination (that
would make a good School House Rock
type tune: “the combination is an abomination…”), but it’s cool that Gorin-Sunn
and Space Ape are still drawing breath. Do you think they’ll end up saving the
day? That would be pretty great. Anyway, back to the battle: a full-frontal
military-style assault against the prism birds didn’t work, so plan C is for
Mogo to shoot an even bigger construct blast from her…chewy center, I suppose.
Surprise of surprises, it doesn’t work. The blast draws the prisms to Mogo’s
surface, then they all combine into even bigger robotic monsters that, frankly,
are pretty awesome now that they’re on land. This is when Hal fesses up about
having caused all the hubbub, and John takes that important information and
commands that the combined Lantern Corps CHARGE THE ENEMY!
So we can say that neither John nor Hal understand
the concept of “strategy.” It’s always ATTACK WITH FULL FORCE MOTHERFUCKERS
which honestly works like 2% of the time. At least Soranik Natu is evacuating
the injured and sick, into the impenetrable Sciencells which is…a damned good
idea, actually. I think she should be running the show! Hal and Arkillo appear
to join the fruitless fray, while Hal takes off in a construct fighter jet to
head back to that dead planet and retrieve Krona’s Gauntlet, and hopefully end
this mess. Once Hal breaks free of the immediate area, John Stewart tells
everyone to lay down their rings because…of reasons? And back on that dead
planet in Space Sector 563, we learn that Hal’s gonna have trouble retrieving
Krona’s Gauntlet—because Sarko’s already found it, and he’s wearing it! And it
looks good on him, to boot.
I loved the stupid bravado of Hal, John and Guy in
this issue, to the extent that I hope it eventually proves them unfit to lead.
The scenes with Sarko on the Remote Planet of Exposition were sort of silly,
but necessary I suppose. Overall, this story feels like a bunch of bone-headed
dudes having a farting contest, and it’s enjoyable on face value. Hopefully it goes
somewhere interesting soon, and we’re not staring down the barrel of another
bloated Green Lantern arc that’s
resolved when someone cuts the Mega Fart and blows all the repercussions and actual
story to smithereens.
Bits and
Pieces:
The Prism continue to attack Mogo, and the combined Lantern Corps continue to fight back. We learn the source of their woes, but that doesn't seem to do them a lot of immediate good. The story moves along a little, the crazy constructs look great, there's nothing wrong with the nuts and bolts of this Green Lantern comic book.
7.5/10
That's a fucking great review!! Lol mega fart lol. I would have scored it lower. The gauntlet has the will to survive are you kidding me? It has the eye of the tiger really really. Fuck you 5
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