That's No Moon
Written by: Bryan Hitch
Art by: Bryan Hitch, Daniel Henriques, Alex Sinclair and Richard Starkings
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: February 1, 2017
This story is called "Regroup" and that is what I hope this is all about. I'm not talking about the Justice League when I say that, either. Nope, I'm talking about Bryan Hitch! I can only hope that the month off he got with Tim Seeley writing the Justice League vs Suicide Squad tie-ins allowed Hitch to reset his batteries, figure out what he wants to do with this book and...Regroup. I'm not expecting miracles, but I am hoping for better characterizations, dialogue and maybe a definitive ending to at least one of his future stories. Please, no more Dr. Who ripoff "this planet is under our protection" or "...something tells me this isn't over" bullshit! PLEASE!!! So, are my hopes and dreams fulfilled right here and right now? Let's find out...
The issue opens with Jessica and Wonder Woman in bad shape. We aren't privy to the what or why just yet, but at least we can settle into the comfort of the bad dialogue that has been around in this book since Rebirth started.
We then find out what happened...a huge spaceship parked itself above Earth and the Justice League had gone on the attack. That's when things get confusing. The aliens get all Starkiller and blow a hole in the middle of some city and then we get the League twelve miles below Canada. As they regroup, Hitch uses Cyborg to tell us all about this alien threat, but his tell not show storytelling makes it all fall flat. Aliens strip mining galaxies...check. They eat suns...check.
We continue with the League pulling themselves together, but again, without seeing much of anything else, it all feels like filler. We then get Jessica worrying that she shouldn't be a member of the Justice League and it just feels like Bryan Hitch trying too hard to define Jessica when it's already being done in her own book and a lot better there to boot.
It continues with the team finding out that Batman has a contingency plan to take them all down and it all came off like a stolen joke you've heard a handful of times already. I will admit I liked seeing the team grow closer to Superman, but that was too little, too late.
The issue then ends with Batman making a Star Wars reference, a plan being laid out and then...a celebration? What the fuck?!? After all of the build up, we don't get to actually see the big fight with the alien threat, just the end result. Again, what the fuck?!? I understand that Hitch thinks this issue was all about the team "Regrouping", but that was horrible and then a nothing ending! It's like a putting curdled whip cream on a shit sundae! Plus, why are they flying around in victory formation as the aliens who destroy universes are "turning away"? I guess the other solar systems don't matter...just let them go destroy them...just stay away from Earth!
This issue was complete and utter bullshit. Seriously, this whole run has sucked and this was just pouring salt into the open wound that was left when Bryan Hitch tore my heart out issues ago. Something has to be done and fast. This book is too important to be this bad!
Bits and Pieces:
Bryan Hitch jumps back on the Justice League and reminded me why I hate it so much. This team has gone through too much already to need this type of issue and it only points out why this book is in the sad shape it's in. There is no reason to read this issue and I am really finding it hard to justify sticking with this series as a whole.
3.0/10
I think this was a necessary issue. The rookies Green Lanterns are at play with the big league. They feel like they don't belong. Everyone questions Superman motives. Batman secret "take down the league" plan was revealed. This team is a mess! With all this at play, they needed to "regroup." This is not the same team, there are 3 new members and must come together. I am not saying it was the greatest issue, but it's the 2nd best issue that Hitch wrote. 7/10
ReplyDeleteit's issue #14! If this was normal shipping, this would already be a year of story. Jessica quit the League already in this run and came back to save the day, they have already accepted her in the regular Green Lanterns book (in the most recent issue), Batman and Superman have learned to trust each other in the Superman book and we have all seen Batman's secret "take down the league" plan a hundred times.
DeleteThis is no longer a "new team"...they have saved the world 4 times (reapers, kindred/ravagers, genie and JL vs SS) already and now they have to "Regroup"?????? This was nothing but a placeholder issue to get the trade in line because of the JL vs SS Squad tie-ins.
Bryan Hitch can't come up with an original story (so far he has ripped off Dr. Who, War Games, Invasion of the Bodysnatchers and also lifts things like Batman's plan from other writers) and can't seem to ever finish anything properly. I hated this issue so much because on the surface, it's meant to mean something, but after this many issues and what happened in them, it is complete and utter garbage!