The Witch Club Credo: Be
Prepared…for Mind Control!
Script: Brenden Fletcher
Story: Brenden Fletcher, Becky
Cloonan & Karl Kerschl
Pencils: Adam Archer
Inks: Sandra Hope
Background Painting: Msassyk
Colors: Serge Lapointe
Breakdowns: Bob Haynes
Letters: Steve Wands
Cover: Karl Kerschl
Cover Price: $2.99
On Sale Date: October 12, 2016
**NON
SPOILERS AND SCORE AT THE BOTTOM**
When my friends that have
kids tell me about how school is run today, I feel like I’ve just come off the
Oregon Trail. A middle school nearby gave all of its seventh-graders tablet
computers to use until graduation. Kids entering college now create new texts
using licensed material instead of having to purchase used books at exorbitant
rates. And of course, e-mail—everything in school seems to happen over e-mail
these days, students are turning in papers and getting homework and doing all
types of education-related things via internet transfer. When I was a kid, if
you stayed home sick, it meant you got to skip the homework! Now, there’s no
respite. But on the other hand, you can play Candy Crush in study hall. Anyway,
none of this seems to be a problem at Gotham Academy, where everything is
frozen in the 19th Century. Let’s go hang out with the Man-Bats and
ghosts in tri-cornered hats, shall we?
Explain It!
After last month’s
troubling issue, that featured Olive Silverlock being very naughty at the
behest of her imaginary friend, the second semester can now start in earnest.
And do you know what that means? MAPS MIZOGUCHI IS BACK! That’s right! She
bounds into this issue with all of her uncontainable enthusiasm and cheer and
buoyant charm, which she has to tone down right now because Olive’s roommate
Amy, who doesn’t actually exist, is sleeping. Look, it’s complicated. Let’s
just say that when have the opportunity to get your own dorm room at sleepaway
school, you’ll come up with any excuse. Maps hushes up per Olive’s insistence,
but while strolling away informs her that there’s a surprise waiting for her in
class. Oh yeah, class! You have to go to those things at school, don’t you?
Olive having left, Imaginary Amy is free to wake up and act like a total bitch
about Maps, and then beg Olive to hang out with her after class. This doesn’t
sit well with Pomeline, who is in said class, along with Colton, some nameless
kids, and MAPS! That’s the big surprise! Smarty Maps is in second-year English
with Olive and other select members of the Detective Club. Just then, Mr.
Scarlet introduces himself as an replacement for Professor Pio who is taking
some mysterious personal time. This is a job for the Detective Club!
Speaking of which, it’s
time for this semester’s first meeting of said Detective Club, conveniently
held during lunch hour in a cafeteria with decidedly gothic chairs. I mean,
each one of those chairs must cost five grand apiece. I understand that most of
the school’s pupils come from impossibly wealthy families, but I think they’d
rather their money be spent in better ways than on super expensive lunchroom
seating. Anyway, Maps in all of her awesomeness has made presents for everyone
in the Detective Club—little dolls of each member! From anyone else, that would
be creepy. Actually, it is flat out creepy, but not without it’s charm. Though
Maps has made everyone vulnerable to Voodoo possession. Maps wants to begin
solving the mystery of Professor Pio’s sabbatical, but Olive says she can’t
stay—she promised to meet Amy. This sort of annoys everyone, but the bell rings
so they disperse anyway. On her way out, Maps gives Eric, the asthmatic kid
from last issue, a doll of his own. Pomeline spies what he’s jotting down on
his notebook, so she follows him out of the cafeteria—he’s taking notes on the
same Arkham symbol that so plagued the group in their very first story arc! And
was also resuscitated last issue. Pomeline straight up jacks Eric’s notebook
from him and splits, because she’s got juice like that.
Meanwhile, Kyle the tennis
star is waiting for Evan, the would-be tennis star, because Kyle agreed to give
him some pointers. Problem is, he never showed up to the courts. This is
especially odd because Kyle had seen him seconds earlier in the locker room.
Coach Humphreys, still coping with being injected with Man-Bat serum, says there
are supposed to be a bunch of kids there today, but they’ve gone missing. No
time to worry about that now, because here’s Maps! Walking past Olive room
and…she in there talking to Amy. Sheesh. Maps keeps stepping on and bumps into
Katherine, Clayface’s daughter and Maps’ roommate. Katherine says Maps’ mom
sent a fishbowl, and Maps figures its so Katherine can keep her together when
she’s feeling goopy. Aw, what are mom’s for but to be there when you lose your
form?
Later, Maps is putting up
posters advertising the Detective Club (though I didn’t know they were looking
for new members) when she finds posters from another club—the Witch Club—which
just won’t do. Not because they’re witches but because they are a competing
club. That’s that gang mentality! She tears down the poster, but is caught by
the Witch Club, who indicate themselves handily by wearing witch-style hats.
They ignore her and move silently into the woods—as if they were
mind-controlled!—so Maps tears their poster down again. Her brother Kyle shows
up, and says he’s looking for Evan, who happened to be one of the witches that
zoned by moments ago. Kyle tells maps to round up the crew and head into the
woods; there’s gonna be a rumble! Instead, some shadowy witch figure knocks him
out with a push broom and he’s found by Maps just lying on the ground,
unconscious. Incensed, Maps follows the tracks into the woods and finds a
mysterious house where the Witch Club is meeting. Kyle eventually wakes up and
heads back to campus to round up the troops, and as they head out to find Maps,
the reader sees that she is already possessed and part of the Witch Club, even
going so far as to wear a stupid hat!
This issue was sort of
like “Maps’ walkabout,” and there are certainly worse characters to follow
around for the day. Now that Amy not being real is a known factor, thanks to
the inimitable genius of Jim Werner, and reinforced by evidence in this issue,
interactions between her and Olive have lost all meaning. I suppose she might
be a ghost, or some kind of mental projection from Olive’s evil side, but the
point is she is not real, so I just sort of wish she’d piss off and let the
Detective Club get back to detecting. The art is glorious as it always is in
this series, looks like stills from a great-looking cartoon. But in this
particular case, that great-looking cartoon would be pretty boring to watch.
Sort of like a Disney movie.
Bits and Pieces:
This issue is very Maps Mizoguchi-centered, which is a relief after the previous issue that barely featured her at all! While there are lots of cute moments and some groundwork is laid for future stories, the whole thing is rather dull. The shocking conclusion isn't shocking at all, and the perceived threat to the school's integrity doesn't translate. I guess there are worse comics out there: ones that don't feature Maps Mizoguchi at all.
6.5/10
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