Oh Danny Blue, the Fights, the Fights Are Calling
Written By:
Trina Robbins
Art By: Tess
Fowler, Jen Manley Lee
Lettered By:
Wes Abbott
Cover Price:
$0.99
Release Date: September 1, 2016
**NON SPOILERS AND SCORE AT THE
BOTTOM**
Hold up. Did you see who wrote this chapter of Wonder
Woman ’77? Trina Robbins. Trina Effing
Robbins. Who is she? Why, she’s only one of the artists that spearheaded
the Underground Comix movement of the late 1960s and 70s, as well as having a
pretty keen (though short) run on Wonder
Woman herself in 1986. And Tess Fowler is a super-talented artist that most
recently was doing a bang-up job on Rat
Queens…until something weird happened and she wasn’t? And then the book was
cancelled? I dunno about that, but I do know that these two talents on one book
has the potential to be comics dynamite. So is this chapter explosive enough to
blow your hands off and leave you permanently disfigured? Or is it more like
one of those sperm-shaped snap bombs that are mildly annoying but cause no real
damage? Read on to find out!
Agent Diana Prince and Ambassador Kirkwood have flown
to Chovania, which is not a real country, for the Youth Festival for Peace,
which is not a real festival. In fact, it sounds like a total ruse. “Oh, please
make sure to attend the Puppies’ Party for Donuts where we totally won’t try to
kidnap and enslave you.” The U.S. Ambassador is in Chovania because it is an
outpost of Democracy bordered by Communist Bulgovia, and the U.S. just really
liked to antagonize the Communists. Bulgovia is run by President-for-life
Antonin Crepescu, which is really a dumb title for a ruthless dictator.
Kirkwood is to show support for Chovania and also complain about its accommodations.
Disgusted at the lack of bottled water, Agent Prince volunteers to go grab a
case from some festival supply that must be endless. Was bottled water even a
thing back in 1977? I guess there was Evian and Pellegrino and stuff…I mean,
there were water coolers around but it still rang a little odd to me.
Diana comes to a door with a star on it, and thinks,
“This must be the room,” because of course a star on a door is a universal sign
for “bottled water inside.” As she touches a decidedly gigantic doorknob, two
women run out in cinched t-shirts with cats drawn on them, all smiles and
sorries as Diana is brushed back. Inside the water bottle room is Danny Blue,
star of the Youth Festival for Peace, strumming away on an acoustic guitar and
probably feeling the afterglow from the awesome sex he just had with those two
women. Diana grabs a case of water, but then a bunch of ski-mask wearing
fellows with guns bust in the room and knock Agent Prince to the ground! They
grab Danny Blue and make off with him, noting that they were told not to hurt
him. Of course, Diana was just playing ‘possum, and when they leave the room,
she awkwardly spins into Wonder Woman and runs after the speeding car.
Danny Blue is…in Bulgovia, I suppose, and shoved into
a sparse room with bars on the window but two chairs within—one that looks like
a recliner and the other looks like a kitchen chair. Wonder Woman enters the
scene and gets the drop on these Bulgovian kidnappers, and Danny Blue joins the
fray by smashing the kitchen chair over one of their heads! I wondered what
that chair was for. Danny asks Wonder Woman what she’s doing there, and she
says she’s there for the water, effectively revealing her identity to a total
stranger. As he swears he’ll never tell, Wonder Woman busts them both out of
the Bulgovian prison and, for no really good reason, wander into a cave. Inside
this cave is President-for-life Crepescu, just sort of sitting in this room
carved out of rock with two people flanking him. There’s a bit of a scuffle,
but then Crepescu orders his guards to throw down their rifles and tells Danny
and Diana that he means them no harm. He leads them to a doorway with flowers
lentil, and within is his dying, cancerous daughter. Her last wish is to have
Danny Blue sing to her, which he does. Hey, how about seeing the sun and not
living in a weird Bulgovian cave, are you interested in that? Ultimately,
Crepescu gets ‘em back to the festival on time, and Wonder Woman even steals
some stage time, that glory hog.
Huh. The story is okay, but nothing really memorable
or interesting. I suppose there’s some Cold War stuff going on, but it really
seems like a generic tale of Who Gives a Fuck. The art was really
disappointing, I’ve known Tess Fowler’s art to be excellent but it looks really
sloppy here. At times downright crummy. I am often tooting the horn for this
series, but this chapter is really nothing to get excited about. It’s only a
buck, but there are better things on which to spend a dollar.
Bits and
Pieces:
6/10
No comments:
Post a Comment