You’d Think God Would Have an Amazing Sense of Humor
Writer:
Garth Ennis
Artist:
Russ Braun
Colorist:
John Kalisz
Letterer:
Pat Brosseau
Cover Price:
$2.99
On Sale Date: September 28, 2016
**NON SPOILERS AND SCORE AT THE
BOTTOM**
Okay, here’s my issue with Christianity. Mind you, I
wasn’t raised a Christian, but it’s all part of the American milieu so I feel
entitled to my issues: I cannot get past the idea that some guy that died two-thousand
years ago is going to return. It sounds like the Mummy or something. I can jibe with the miracles and the
parables, I’m willing to suspend my natural disbelief and take the Book of Genesis at face value, but the
part about Jesus the Christ coming back into existence—to do anything—is a
bridge too far for me. Of course, that leap of faith is sort of the central
tenet of Christianity, and so I am not one. It seems so egregiously unlikely,
given all we do know about death’s finality and the desperate wishes that our
beloved deceased will someday come knocking on the front door and ask to watch
the Big Bang Theory with us. I mean,
that’s what Christianity amounts to, right? A sustained delusional mourning
where we think there must be something wrong; the coroner must have filled the
form incorrectly, or the autopsy wasn’t thorough enough, and any minute Grandma
will rise from the grave and bake some of her delicious snickerdoodles again.
Never mind that the reality of such a thing happening would reduce even the
most robust undergarment into a sopping sponge, this is how we’ve all felt
after interring our loved ones, and it’s this feeling that keeps the Christ
boat afloat. What does that have to do with Hard-Travelin’
Heroz? Uh, well the Spectre is in it. Read on and find out what else is
packed into this thing!
Explain
It!
Can I just say how great it is that Steve Dillon did
the cover on this?
So there’s a big problem with recapping this comic
book: I could easily retell the plot beats of this story, add my little stupid
quips and japes and slap a fairly meaningless score at the end. But much of it
would sound completely insane without proper context. And in order to get the
proper context, well you might as well read the entire book. For instance, right
in the beginning we go back to Dogwelder’s encounter with John Constantine from
last issue, when John promised Dogwelder he could do more with his inherited
power than just weld canines to people. And this time, we see Constantine full
on, riding a hovering surfboard and wielding a laser pistol, while wearing a
space helmet on his head. And there’s a very good and funny reason these things
are happening, but it’s absolute redundancy to reiterate it. You’ve just got to
read this thing, folks, it’s crass and gross, but it has some of the best
social and comics satire that I’ve seen in a long time. Like, I dunno—if you’ve
truly, actually never laughed at a fart, whether it was your own or somebody
else’s, then you won’t get this book. You’re also clearly an android and you
should fulfill your prime directive in getting the murderous, parasitic alien
back to earth at all costs. But if you can laugh at a poot, and you think the
current state of comics needs to be taken down a peg, you gotta check this out.
Over by Noonan’s Bar, the Spectre is still gigantic
and calling for Baytor, who we now learn is an escaped demon—once Lord of the
Criminally Insane, in fact, who used to hang out with Etrigan and has been
located to this area…unfortunately, the Spectre doesn’t know what Baytor looks
like, so he’s hoping that the demon will give himself up. Being that Baytor can
only say, “I AM BAYTOR!” and on top of that, he really likes saying, “I AM BAYTOR!” he’s somewhat impelled to give himself
up, but Bueno Excelente, friend that he is, puts Baytor in a choke-hold that
keeps him mum. Back at the alley, Constantine is explaining that the welding
mask that turned Dogwelder into Dogwelder is a relic, passed down over a long
time, affecting all who wear it with the power…to weld dogs to people, I
suppose. Then John teaches Dogwelder his first trick: jam your forearm in to a
dead dog through its butthole, and use it as a puppet to speak for you.
Dogwelder is unsurprisingly eager to do this, but before learning the speaking
trick he looks down the block to see the green, glowing cloud created by the
Spectre. No time for street magic, he’s got to see what’s happening!
At the scene, Baytor cannot be restrained by members
of Section Eight, and screams out “I AM BAYTOR!!!” right in the Spectre’s
stupid, smug face. Before he can collect his bounty, Sixpack steps up and
announces that he is Baytor! Then the gang at Noonan’s, gathered outside, says
that each of them is Baytor, and this goes on until Reggie is teary-eyed and
laughing so hard at a comic book that his wife asks what he’s laughing at, and
then Reggie is ashamed to show her what he’s been reading. Spectre calls the
Most High aka the DCU God on his cell phone to ask advice, just as Dogwelder
and Constantine on his hovering surfboard show up. Spectre gets the word to
bring down some serious wrath, but before he can Dogwelder thrusts his fisted
canine forward and it utters, “We’re ALL Baytor!” Spectre regards this as the
first sign of something, and recoils before vanishing entirely! And now it
looks like Section Eight is going to get mixed up in some weird apocalyptic
prophecy, which sounds about right when you think about it.
One thing I did not mention in my recap is that all
of the Spectre’s dialogue is absolutely hilarious. I’ve long thought he talks
like a teenage poet, and I loved seeing that taken down a peg. I also did not
convey how hysterically John Constantine was portrayed, right down to his visor
clamping down on cigarettes he attempted to light in nearly every panel. My
recap did not do this book one bit of justice. It is one of the funniest things
I’ve read all year. I’m not kidding about audibly laughing while reading it,
and I laughed again the second time around. The art is impeccable, depictions
of all the characters are absolutely spot-on, and drawings of Section Eight
specifically are lavished with gross, funny detail. This is a great miniseries,
especially for long-time fans of the DC Universe, who have a sense of humor. I
should mention that if you don’t have a sense of humor, you won’t like it. One
way to know if you have a sense of humor is that if you think your sense of
humor is one of your best traits, then you probably don’t have one.
Bits and
Pieces:
9.5/10
This was definitely the most enjoyable book of the week. Batman's cameo was awesome. I agree with your score, 9.5.
ReplyDeleteFor how wacky this book is, it feels like it's the most down to earth. This book is doing good stuff!
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