Gods Damn It!
Written By: Meredith FinchArt By: Miguel Mendonca, Diana Egea, Juan Albarran, Stephen Downer, Rob Leigh
Cover Price: $3.99
Release Date: May 18, 2016
Release Date: May 18, 2016
*Non Spoilers and Score At The Bottom*
Nothing rallies families together like a sick baby....... or a dying king of Olympus...... which in this case it's the same thing. I remember when my king of Olympus got HIV from partying a little too hardy and all us got together and made him realize that it's the future now and since he had a shit ton of dough, what with him being the king of a pantheon and all, that having a little HIV-y wasn't the worst thing in the world anymore......... Okay, this opener has already gotten a little out of hand. Somewhere in that I was trying to get to the point that none of the Gods seem to be doing shit to make sure that baby Zeke pulls through, all expect Wonder Woman that is and man is she going about it all wrong. We've seen her become a pawn of the Goddess of Sorcery and Necromancy: Hecate, who has a few demands from Diana if she's going to save baby Zeke from his mysterious illness and in the previous issue it turns out that surprisingly, a Goddess who looks like a monster and is all about things necromancy isn't on the up and up. That's right, Hecate trapped Diana and Hera in Tartarus so she can go about with her evil plan unfettered, but of course our hero made it out and she's going to hunt down this monster looking god and Hecate is going to have some 'splaining to do. Let's check out this issue and see what's up with Zola since we ended the last issue with her possibly being dead (she's not) and see if our hero can end this story arc on a strong note. Let's check it out.
Explain It!
As our issue begins it's pretty straight forward in that Hecate has kidnapped baby Zeke because she wants to relive the good times when Zeus used to call her up a little drunk at 3 A.M. and want to get some loving going on....... as long as no one found out about it. Yeah, Zeus might have said things like "You're beautiful" or "I love you", but that's just pillow talk baby and somebody better do something soon because Hecate's big plan is to use Hera's orbs that Wonder Woman stole for her and the power of Gaia to keep their relationship going forever by fusing herself and the baby embodiment of Zeus together. That's one hell of a short leash there Zeus-y boy. Anyway, this crazy plan is interrupted by Hera, who in my mind was stepping up and taking care of things on her own....... which I really dug because man has her character grown since we started this series out, but as it turns out I'm just a big dummy and everything that I hoped for when Hera entered the scene in this comic is shot to hell when we find out that even though Hecate is doing some pretty shady shit, Hera is actually our big bad and the one who made baby Zeke ill in the first place. This seems like it comes completely out of left field to me because even though Hecate showed Diana that Hera wasn't on the up and up herself, all we as an audience saw of this was Hera making Zola go to sleep with her powers and that didn't seem too terrible to me because Zola was hysterical about Zeke being sick and Hera was simply allowing Zola to get some rest. Apparently though, this scene is the smoking gun of the whole arc and all the progress we've made with Hera over fifty-two issues is now worthless.
Things get crazier though when Wonder Woman shows up because we've got Hera and we've got Hecate saying that each of them is the villain of the story......... and technically they're right, both of them are the villain of the story, but the nonsense continues because Wonder Woman is tired of being played and uses the Lasso of Truth on Hera, which doesn't work because apparently god weapons can't be used against Hera, but Wonder Woman does save Baby Zeke from being fused with Hecate so at least we've got that going on. Once the baby is saved though it just turns into classic Hera talking about how she's tired of her philandering husband and his bastard children and how she will take the throne of Olympus. With her power orbs back in her possession, Hera literally brings the house down and Wonder Woman sacrifices herself to save baby Zeke by covering him with her body....... which thinking about it, I wouldn't mind being saved like that too.
In the end, Zeus comes back because of Wonder Woman's sacrifice and I'm left wondering if she's still the God of War or not because when she was confronting Hera, she was all God of War garbed out, but now that Zeus is back, we're back to the normal looking Wonder Woman........ and that's it. After all the evil plotting that both Hecate and Hera were doing, there are no repercussions....... none. All of our characters just go back to what they were doing now that Zeus is back and Zola is moved to Paradise Island, where she has to live out her days as a shell of her former self because her baby is just gone and nobody seems to give a shit about it.............. and Wonder Woman may or may not be the God of War still. I don't know....... I just hope that when Rebirth hits that Wonder Woman says "Fuck you" to the pantheon because none of those assholes that she calls family can be trusted.
That's it for this issue of Wonder Woman and this conclusion to the baby Zeke dying story arc just made me angry as hell because while Hera coming out as being the bad guy makes sense in the classic idea of Hera, what with her husband fucking anything that moves and having dozens of children all over, it just erases all the progress that the character has made throughout the course of this run........ and really just destroys all of Azzarello's continuity that he spent thirty-five issues working at. It's just a very lackluster ending that seems to come out of nowhere just to get the character of Wonder Woman back to a blank slate for Rebirth. I will tell you that the art in this book is fantastic though and is the real saving grace for me and the soul reason that I didn't throw a goddamn fit after reading this. This whole arc that became the conclusion to this series was just nonsense though and I can only hope that Rebirth can get us back to good story telling because I don't want to see Wonder Woman like this ever again.
Bits and Pieces:
Wonder Woman ends her run in the New 52 with one hell of a dud here. What we have is a real put the toys back in their toy box as best you can situation and because of this it just slaps readers in the face who have been reading this run from the beginning. We've been getting that a lot lately with Rebirth looming ahead, but here it just angered me. We do get some excellent art though out of the entire team and really that's the only reason to get this book.
Explain It!
As our issue begins it's pretty straight forward in that Hecate has kidnapped baby Zeke because she wants to relive the good times when Zeus used to call her up a little drunk at 3 A.M. and want to get some loving going on....... as long as no one found out about it. Yeah, Zeus might have said things like "You're beautiful" or "I love you", but that's just pillow talk baby and somebody better do something soon because Hecate's big plan is to use Hera's orbs that Wonder Woman stole for her and the power of Gaia to keep their relationship going forever by fusing herself and the baby embodiment of Zeus together. That's one hell of a short leash there Zeus-y boy. Anyway, this crazy plan is interrupted by Hera, who in my mind was stepping up and taking care of things on her own....... which I really dug because man has her character grown since we started this series out, but as it turns out I'm just a big dummy and everything that I hoped for when Hera entered the scene in this comic is shot to hell when we find out that even though Hecate is doing some pretty shady shit, Hera is actually our big bad and the one who made baby Zeke ill in the first place. This seems like it comes completely out of left field to me because even though Hecate showed Diana that Hera wasn't on the up and up herself, all we as an audience saw of this was Hera making Zola go to sleep with her powers and that didn't seem too terrible to me because Zola was hysterical about Zeke being sick and Hera was simply allowing Zola to get some rest. Apparently though, this scene is the smoking gun of the whole arc and all the progress we've made with Hera over fifty-two issues is now worthless.
Things get crazier though when Wonder Woman shows up because we've got Hera and we've got Hecate saying that each of them is the villain of the story......... and technically they're right, both of them are the villain of the story, but the nonsense continues because Wonder Woman is tired of being played and uses the Lasso of Truth on Hera, which doesn't work because apparently god weapons can't be used against Hera, but Wonder Woman does save Baby Zeke from being fused with Hecate so at least we've got that going on. Once the baby is saved though it just turns into classic Hera talking about how she's tired of her philandering husband and his bastard children and how she will take the throne of Olympus. With her power orbs back in her possession, Hera literally brings the house down and Wonder Woman sacrifices herself to save baby Zeke by covering him with her body....... which thinking about it, I wouldn't mind being saved like that too.
In the end, Zeus comes back because of Wonder Woman's sacrifice and I'm left wondering if she's still the God of War or not because when she was confronting Hera, she was all God of War garbed out, but now that Zeus is back, we're back to the normal looking Wonder Woman........ and that's it. After all the evil plotting that both Hecate and Hera were doing, there are no repercussions....... none. All of our characters just go back to what they were doing now that Zeus is back and Zola is moved to Paradise Island, where she has to live out her days as a shell of her former self because her baby is just gone and nobody seems to give a shit about it.............. and Wonder Woman may or may not be the God of War still. I don't know....... I just hope that when Rebirth hits that Wonder Woman says "Fuck you" to the pantheon because none of those assholes that she calls family can be trusted.
That's it for this issue of Wonder Woman and this conclusion to the baby Zeke dying story arc just made me angry as hell because while Hera coming out as being the bad guy makes sense in the classic idea of Hera, what with her husband fucking anything that moves and having dozens of children all over, it just erases all the progress that the character has made throughout the course of this run........ and really just destroys all of Azzarello's continuity that he spent thirty-five issues working at. It's just a very lackluster ending that seems to come out of nowhere just to get the character of Wonder Woman back to a blank slate for Rebirth. I will tell you that the art in this book is fantastic though and is the real saving grace for me and the soul reason that I didn't throw a goddamn fit after reading this. This whole arc that became the conclusion to this series was just nonsense though and I can only hope that Rebirth can get us back to good story telling because I don't want to see Wonder Woman like this ever again.
Bits and Pieces:
Wonder Woman ends her run in the New 52 with one hell of a dud here. What we have is a real put the toys back in their toy box as best you can situation and because of this it just slaps readers in the face who have been reading this run from the beginning. We've been getting that a lot lately with Rebirth looming ahead, but here it just angered me. We do get some excellent art though out of the entire team and really that's the only reason to get this book.
5/10
This was the worst WW comic of the entire run and that is saying something. And how can Zeke have died since Zeke WAS Zeus??? Zeus was born again as Zeke, so on what basis is Diana assuming that Zeke was dead???And if Zeus merely embodied Zeke, then the true murderer of Zeke is Zeus for destroying Zeke's body in the first place. This is unquestionably the most stupid and nonsensical plot line in the entire new 52. And it ends with even more absurdity. And Hera suddenly being bad again? Jesus, if there was any need for a Rebirth this Finch run is it. Thank God it's over.
ReplyDeletedamn...that is pretty much what I struggled with on the podcast! It makes no damn sense!!! Zeke was always going to end up being Zeus one way or another why the shock and sadness?!?!?!
Deleteand ruining Hera at the very end...RIDICULOUS!!!!
DeleteIt's sad that they don't respect a major pillar of the DC universe. My mother is 75 years old and has been reading Wonder Woman since she was a little girl. She still reads some from time to time to see what's going on with her favorite character and sees crap like this. I hope Rebirth does her the justice she deserves not only for the character, but for my mom who still wears her Wonder Woman PJs and hopes the books get better.
ReplyDelete