One
Step Backward, Two Steps Forward
Starring: Grant Gustin, Carlos Valdez, Rick
Cosnett et al.
Written
By: Aaron & Todd
Helbing, David Kob
Directed
By: Alice Troughton
First
Aired: March 29, 2016
**NON SPOILERS AND SCORE AT THE BOTTOM**
Boy, things sure have turned around on CW’s the Flash, haven’t they? Last episode, we learned that Jay Garrick, or his doppelganger, is actually Zoom! Someone they’ve trusted all season long turns out to be the big bad guy! Come to think of it, that’s exactly what happened last season, too. And now we’ve got “good guy” Harrison Wells from Earth-2, someone they didn’t trust at first but who has turned out to be very forthright. Even though he did try to steal Barry’s speed for Zoom a few episodes back. Seems like the message here is that trusting people is idiotic. Heck, I’m starting to look at Iris a little suspiciously. Do we really know that she’s Joe West’s daughter? I mean, has anyone seen the birthing pictures? As far as I’m concerned, everyone’s a suspect on this show, and I’ll start naming names once I figure out all the crimes that have been committed. In the meantime, read my review and recap of the Flash episode 17—but don’t take this as an indication that I trust you, either!
Explain
It!
The Flash gang is
freaking out over the fact that Jay Garrick, the guy they’ve befriended this
whole season, is actually the murderous and spooky speedster Zoom. We have to
think that Caitlin is the most bent out of shape, because she clearly has terrible
taste in dudes: they’re either villainous or arrogant or both. The death of
Trajectory last episode takes the speed-inducing drug Velocity-9 off the table,
but Barry feels he must get ever faster, in order to overtake Zoom who has no
compunctions against juicing or other performance enhancers. Why does Barry
think speed will fix everything? Like, people go up against him without
super-speed, and while they all ultimately lose they often give him a run for his
money. You can fix everything by running really fast, buddy: you couldn’t save
your mom, you couldn’t make Iris love you permanently, and you couldn’t go back
and change that time you pissed your pants during grade school Assembly. Maybe
it’s time to learn that super speed by itself is a pretty silly power, and look
for alternatives to dispatching your similarly-endowed nemeses. So due to Barry’s
obsessive-compulsive disorder, he decides that the best option would be to use
his super speed to go back in time to last season, and have Evil Harrison Wells
aka Eobard Thawne in Wells’ body aka the Reverse Flash teach him how to get
faster. This is the worst plan ever right on its face. Of course, Barry is
warned by current day Good Harrison Wells not to do this, because he could
screw up the timeline, but Barry is all “we have to try” as usual. Uh, no you
don’t asshole. If the option is between you running a little bit faster in
hopes of maybe stopping a supervillain in another dimension, which could
destroy all reality as we know it, then find another option. In any case, they
set forth the plan: zip back in time to a pre-determined moment, knock out the
existing Flash, take his place and cozy up to Harrison Wells to pick his brain
about running faster. Seems like a great plan—what could possibly go wrong?
Answer: everything.
So right off the bat,
Present Barry shows up too early. He bides his time for an opportunity to knock
out Past Barry, and in doing so fucks up and reveals himself. So even if
everything goes right from this point on—and we know it won’t—Past Barry still
has a memory of meeting Future Barry, even briefly. So if all goes as planned,
then Past Barry will eventually come back to S.T.A.R. Labs all “Another Flash
knocked me out and switched chest symbols with me!” and they’ll all be like, “Okay,
crazy,” and probably have him tossed in one of those cruel plexiglass cells in
the basement. Of course, Barry so thoroughly screws up the timeline that
revealing himself to Past Barry turns out to be the least of his problems. So
Barry turns out to have shown up in the past right when Past Barry meets
Hartley “Pied Piper” Rathaway, who you might remember was Harrison Wells’
assistant that got all salty at Cisco because he had better t-shirts. You might
remember it, because I barely did. They get him back to S.T.A.R. Labs, and
Barry, remembering that Pied Piper broke out last year using some hearing aid
bombs, tells Cisco to run a scan and discovers them. So okay—WHAT PART OF “DON’T
FUCK UP THE TIME LINE” DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND? You’ve just eliminated a fairly
major event from last season and you don’t even seem upset about it. Just after
that—like instantly after that, Barry starts pressing Evil Wells for tips and
tricks on running faster, which is pretty funny because last season Wells
pretended to be paralyzed most of the season. I understand he’s asking for
Wells’ scientific acumen, but it would be like asking a blind person how to get
the most out of your 3-D television. Whether that’s actually funny or not, Evil
Wells immediately knows something is up because he’s not a complete and total
idiot, and he knocks Barry out and chains him to his wheelchair in the secret
room with braille on the walls.
Evil Wells is ready to
kill Barry, but Barry tells a bunch of lies that didn’t fly with me, but seem
to satisfy Wells’ ego. He agrees to help Barry run faster, but first he’s got
to tackle a g-g-ghost! Or maybe that happened earlier in the episode, I forget.
The point is that while cruising through time, he’s garnered the notice of Time
Wraiths, which are an incredibly stupid concept that deserves no further
elucidation. The gist of it is that Barry is being chased by a ghost. It goes
through the Central City Police Department, where Barry sees Eddie Thawne, all
alive and well, and gawks at him like some gobstruck teenager. WHAT PART OF “DON’T
FUCK UP THE TIME LINE,” BARRY? WHAT WASN’T CLEAR? Later, he even gets Eddie to
film a video for Iris that he can bring back to the future to cure her
melancholy. OH THAT COULDN’T SCREW ANYTHING UP, GREAT IDEA BARRY. So the Time
Wraith eventually makes its way to S.T.A.R. Labs, and then Past Barry wakes up
and shows up there at the same time Future Barry is just showing up, and now
everything is a complete mess. How could it get more fucked than this? Future
Barry decides the only way to defeat the Time Wraith…I almost can’t believe it…is
to have Team Flash work on a fix that will be ready when he gets back to the
present, in the future. This introduces so many problems that I can’t even
begin to get into it. I mean, Team Flash was pretty busy last season, what with
tracking down the Reverse Flash and then setting up a scenario to send him back
to his time…but no, now they’ve also got this other deadline bearing down on
them to contend with. And to make matters even stupider, Future Barry tells
Cisco that the Pied Piper knows where Caitlin’s fiancée Ronnie is, something
they don’t learn until later in the season. WHAT PART, BARRY? WHAT PART DIDN’T
YOU GET? Barry runs to the present, in the future, with the help of Past Barry,
in the past, and when he shows up Cisco fires some gun at the Time Wraith, but
it doesn’t work! It starts sucking the life from Barry, but then the Pied Piper
strolls out from the laboratory and zaps the Wraith with some phony technology
that works, then walks out of S.T.A.R. Labs like he owns the place. Which,
considering how thoroughly fucked the time line must be now, he very well may.
The episode concludes with Iris watching her special video from her dead fiancée
(everyone’s gotta have at least one), tears rolling down her cheeks, presumably
because Barry can’t stop fucking up the time line.
So this was a pretty fun
episode, despite my voiced frustration. I definitely had a few “don’t go into
the basement!” moments during the episode, mainly whenever Barry willfully
screwed with the time line. Sort of made Barry seem a stubborn asshole, which
is as good a personality as any when you come to think of it. This episode
definitely had the most “comic book science” so far, and I wonder what the
uninitiated would think of it…though if you’ve been watching the Flash to this
point, then you can probably handle the fact that time lines get changed around
like I change my underwear. Which is monthly. I was sort of hoping that Eddie
Thawne would still be alive in the present when Barry got back, but it seems
not to be…but maybe it is! I feel we will learn of more things he messed up in
future episodes, and I will be watching like a hawk to make sure!
Bits and Pieces:
This was a pretty crazy
episode that’s a little obtuse, but manageable if you’ve taken hallucinogenic
drugs or drank Absinthe. Barry’s characterization seems harsher than normal,
but no different than in the past—perhaps a bit more stubborn. This episode
will give you the chance to revisit some characters you may have been missing
or outright forgot about, but it was all marred by the big villain of the
episode being a ghost. If someone pulled its mask off to reveal an old grizzled
caretaker that hates kids, I’d have liked that more.
7/10
After last night's episode I am now actively rooting for zoom to break Barry's spine
ReplyDeleteSome really bad choices turn out to be great TV! I kept yelling at Barry too Reggie, love when I find myself talking to the TV.
ReplyDeleteIt's a lot of fun when I'm watching the Flash...not so fun when I'm watching the nightly news!
Delete