Director: Dan Etheridge
Writers: Jon Enbom
Release Date: March 22, 2016
Let’s catch up!
Before we get started, I would like to apologize for the delay on this recap. Unfortunately by the time I got around to watching this episode I was half asleep and I missed too much to write an effective recap. I finally was able to re-watch today and now recap game is set to be brolic.
i-FUCKING-Zombie
is back.
After a
four week hiatus that left us with nothing but awesome loose ends we are backin effect like Das EFX bruh. To recap, Blaine was murdered by Mr. Boss then rose from the dead like
the quick witted Jesus he is. There was the whole Rita/Glinda reveal. Ravi’s
zombie cure was only temporary which meant that Blaine and Major were living on
borrowed time, and on top of that Clive and his FBI girlfriend noticed that
Major was now cavorting with Blaine. Shit was looking all sorts of fucked up
and all of this awesome chaos is the reason why iZombie is the best show since
Breaking Bad.
Explain it!
Let’s
get the case of the week out of the way, because it really was kind of minor
and only used as a vehicle to get Liv into the Max Rager offices. A scientist
who was responsible for a horrific accident during a clinical trial that
scarred a woman’s face and ruined her life was set on fire. All roads lead to
the scarred woman, but when Clive and Liv showed up at her place, she was all
healed. Turns out she had a twin sister who exacted revenge on her behalf. It
was pretty inconsequential other than the aforementioned Max Rager visits and
Liz and Blaine getting hopped up on scientist brains.
Now on
to the important stuff.
We rejoin the show right where we left off, a muddied,
bloodied and half naked Blaine is riding the bus and craving some brain, yes
our hero (ok fine, my hero) has reverted back to zombie form after being killed
by Mr. Boss and buried alive. I am not quite sure how Blaine got on the bus, he
is only rocking boxers, mud, dried blood and a blanket. I know Seattle is
supposedly hella liberal and but what bus driver lets this fool on his bus,
plus where the fuck did he come up with bus fare? I know most liberals preach income equality
and all that shit, but it is usually from their Park Slope brownstones and they
damn sure are not cavorting with the likes of homeless ass looking Blaine,
jussayin. I guess in a world where zombies roam the earth minor details like this
get lost in the shuffle.
Back at the morgue, Liz is boring Ravi with the details of
her blow up with Rita/Glinda while Ravi is doing his fucking job and fixing up
the burnt scientist from the case of the week. He gives Liz some scientist brains,
she makes a dope looking soup, and breaks the fuck out with Clive to solve this
murder. Just as they leave Blaine rolls up, plays the zombie roll groaning “braaaaaaaiiiiinnnnns”
which freaks Ravi the fuck out until he realizes Blaine is just fucking with
him.
Blaine is the fucking best!
A shaken Ravi realizes that Blaine has reverted to zombie and
informs him that the zombie cure coursing through his system will soon turn on
him and kill him, but fear not because he has a gang of tainted Utopium and is
working on the fix. Blaine reminds him, that keeping him alive needs to be job
one, because without the brain he is selling out of his funeral parlor/open air
brain market, the zombie horde of Seattle will get hungry and wreak havoc on
muthafuckers. Ravi promises a cure and sends Blaine home with some scientist
brain and some wack ass gear he apparently got at Old Navy or some shit.
Meanwhile, over at Max Rager, Vaughn who is hopped up on Max
Rager’s new improved energy drink Super Max, is giving Major an updated list of
zombies to kill, when Major lets it slip that he has been smashing Rita. Vaughn
informs Major that Rita is his daughter, Major is a bit taken back but rolls
with it because Vaughn has turned his sites on Rita who just strolled in
rocking some big shades to hide the shiner Liv gifted her in the last episode and
calls her on her always getting pissed at him for sleeping with the help. Rita
removes the glasses and exposes said shiner, which amuses Major and enrages
Vaughn, who loses his shit assuming Major was dropping bows on his seed. Rita intervenes,
suggest Major bounce which he does, but not before throwing a Cam’ron “You Mad”
at Vaughn:
Eminent death turns Blaine into a bit of a sentimental sap, he
waxes poetic with his minions, leaves them instructions on what to do in the
event of his untimely demise and warns them not to sell utopium because Mr.
Boss is too smart and too ruthless for simps like them. He also wonders matter-of-factly,
how Drake, his ace-in-the-hole double agent, didn’t know Mr. Boss was going to
kill him and sort of leaves floating there.
Liv starts having visions of the scientists whose brains she
is hopped up on getting dressed down by Vaughn, setting off all sorts of alarms
and whistles, causing her to redirect the investigation with Clive to now
include Max Rager. Turns out the scientist was working at Max Rager under an
assumed name. Vaughn alerts HR to put the job up on Linkedin, so obviously Liv
decides to apply. She shows up, learns of the secret basement, and tries to get
in using the fingerprint reader in the elevator, you don’t need me to tell you
how that worked out.
Blaine swings by the morgue to return the get up Ravi lent
him earlier in the episode, he even had it dry cleaned and everything, what a
fucking sweetheart. Ravi breaks him off with an “in case of emergency”
experimental zombie cure that he came up with thanks to some help from Liv’s
science brain. On his way out Blaine informs Ravi that he had to let the crotch
out in his pants because Blaine obviously has a much bigger wiener than Ravi.
Blaine fucking rules.
Major shows up at Blaine’s place to show him the new zombie
list that Vaughn hit him with earlier in the episode, Major gets those tingles
he gets when he is in the same room with a zombie, and realizes Blaine has been
turned again. Blaine lets them know they are probably going to die soon, but
not to worry because their best minds are on the case. Blaine reviews the list, spots Drake name and
suggests that Major take him out because Drake is a fucking asshole.
In other Drake news, Liz is busy trying to find out if Drake
is a good guy or a prick (he is a cop, so what do you think?) she plants a
burner phone under the passenger seat in his whip to track his movements. She
follows him around to find out that he works for Mr. Boss. Should be a deal
breaker but Liv gives him a chance to explain because she is a simp. She sets
up a meeting with Drake at a restaurant but Drake never shows up, because Major
dosed homeboy and tossed him in his trunk. Major pulls out of the parking lot
just as Liv is leaving, shitty music designed to convey Liv’s sadness/confusion
comes on, and we fade to black.
OH SHIT! I totally forgot, remember the Super Max that Vaughn
was all hopped up on? Well he is testing
it on Zombies in his secret basement. It’s making them all 28 Days Later kinds
of fast. Vaughn being the dick he is, starts tazing the zombie, who breaks out
of the weak ass restraints they had, and kills the scientist. Vaughn breaks the
fuck out for the elevator, while Rita fights off the zombie, and as she is
calling out for help he does that dick move where you pretend you didn’t hit
the open doors button in time and leaves her to get zombied. Back in his office
Vaughn locks the door, pours a drink. Just as he regains his composure, the
elevator opens, and Rita comes out calling for her daddy. Homegirl got bit and
now has the zombie virus slowly turning her. Vaughn doesn’t let her in and she
shuffles off.
SHIT JUST GOT REAL AT MAX RAGER BRUH!!!!!!
Bits and Pieces:
- Clive's girlfriend found what appear to be human brains at Blaine's father's cabin. They call her hook up at the bureau to request he take a look at the brains, and he is all like "oh more human brains" and they are all "what???" and he is all "didn't you read my report?" which they did, but not before Liv changed "human" to 'bovine". This is going to come back on someone hard.
- I might have a crush on Blaine. My wife is going to be pissed when she finds out.
8/10
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