Gastric Relief
for the Wonder Woman Intolerant
Written By: Marc Andreyko
Art By: Richard Ortiz and Christian Duce,
Romulo Fajardo Jr.
Letters By: Wes Abbott
Digital Price: $0.99
Release Date: February 15,
2016
*Non Spoilers and Score At The Bottom*
I hope everyone
had a lovely Valentine’s Day with their insignificant other. I say
“insignificant” because one person I know you didn’t spend time with was Wonder
Woman. For one thing, she’s a fictional character and cannot really “spend
time” with anyone. But for another thing, the new chapter of Wonder Woman ’77 came out today, not
yesterday. You might have been waiting up for her to show, clutching a bouquet
of paltry posies and a lame Valentine’s Day card that you spent forty minutes
picking out at the pharmacy, but she didn’t arrive, and instead showed up a day
later as if to say, “I’m not deaf, I’m ignoring you.” Yes, Wonder Woman sees
your weak attempts to get her attention, and
she doesn’t care. She’s Wonder Woman for Hera’s sake! There are more
important things for her to do than assuage your feelings. Look, just read my
review of chapter fifteen and maybe you can glean a little but of what it means
to be in her presence. Because let me tell you, nothing you’re doing now is
going to get her to come over for dinner.
Explain It!:
Last chapter saw
an appropriately attired Wonder Woman swim to the shore of Paradise Island to
find Clayface had absorbed some magic clay and created two dozen Wonder Woman
clones. Diana has exactly zero trouble twirling into her proper costume and
pounding these clay pretenders into…er, clay. Her Amazonian buddies rush to her
aid, but the phony Wonder Women spray some goop out of their hands that sets
the Amazonians on fire. This really ticks off Wondy, who flies at super speed
and tears the remaining doppelgangers apart.
Clayface
manipulates the scraps into a gigantic Wonder Woman with a spiked mace for a
right hand. This, also, poses precisely no threat to her at all: Diana grabs an
old shield just sort of hanging out on the battlefield and flings it at the
gigantic Clayface, shearing his arm off. This is decisive heroism, folks, no
need to show Wonder Woman getting clobbered until her face looks like a bowl of
plums at my grandparents’ house before she turns the tables. Sometimes
superheroes are just better, you know? Clayface is pretty annoyed so he just
turns into ooze and covers Wonder Woman in an attempt to smother her. He’s
about to beat up her Amazonian gal pals, but then Diana just straight up commandeers
Clayface, because she is also made from the magic clay he absorbed. See what I
mean? I like to see a villain get totally outclassed at every turn, sometimes.
It feels good when the good guys win.
After this, it’s
nothing for Wonder Woman to make Clayface sprout wings and dunk him in a
volcano, which makes him leap out and into the water, where he hardens into
volcanic rock. Easy peasy. Diana is healed by the purple ray and sends some
chunks of petrified Clayface in a tank to Steve Trevor. I mean, is
there anything cooler? The art is great in this comic, and the fill-in
pages/panels look very consistent with the rest of the story. After last
chapter’s setup, this was all payoff and it flowed very well. This was a simple
but clever premise for a story and I enjoyed all of it. Clayface started some
shit and Wonder Woman finished it. She made compassion look cool and wore a
bunch of awesome outfits. Hello, Wonder Woman I’ve Been Looking For.
Bits and Pieces:
It’s a showdown
between Wonder Woman and Clayface, and I don’t have to tell you who’s got the
winning odds. This is a great conclusion to last chapter’s setup, full of
action and heroics in the traditional comic book form. The art is great, the
premise is cool, and it costs a buck ninety-eight. If you know of something
that will put as big a smile on my face for less than two dollars, then I’m all
ears. Something legal, I should stress
to some of our more shady readers.
8.5/10
No comments:
Post a Comment