Red, Black and Green. Know What I Mean?
Written By: Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda
Conner
Art By: John Timms, Mauricet, Hi-Fi
Letters By: Marilyn Patrizio
Cover Price: $4.99
Release Date: February 10, 2015
*Non-Spoilers and Score At The Bottom*
One thing you don’t hear from any of the presidential
hopefuls is their political positions on Harley Quinn. Do they approve of her
clothing, or would they force her to mend them? Is she an American citizen, or
should she have to be Naturalized being that she comes from the land of
Bonkersonia? Most importantly: will any candidate attempt to stem the gushing
tide of Harley Quinn titles issuing
from DC Comics? Because let me tell you, dear reader, anyone attempting that
will be sorely disappointed. I heard Jimmy Palmiotti asked for a break on Harley Quinn and DC Comics kidnapped his
poodle and sent tufts of fur until he turned in twelve scripts. Printing
problems almost delayed the last issue of Harley’s solo title, but Dan Didio
and Jim Lee went down to the plant and colored several hundred thousand copies
with magic markers. Harley Quinn is a
force of nature, you can accept it and allow Harley to wash over you like a cascading
fountain of poop jokes, or you can prepare yourself for a fight to the death.
And it’s more than likely you will lose. Read on for some no-nonsense Harley Quinn reviewin’!
Explain
It!
So it’s no secret that Harley Quinn is not a beloved title around here. I don’t think
anyone hates it, but personally-speaking I find it a little lean on plot
(though always incredible, art-wise.) Indeed, her books get passed around like
hot potatoes amongst the Weird Science Get Fresh Crew, ultimately landing with
me because I’m the Mikey in this Life cereal commercial of a website. Actually,
it’s more like Cocoa Puffs, with Jim playing Sonny and Eric playing one of the
kids scarred by Sonny’s manic freak-outs over cereal. I would never eat a bowl
of cereal again if I saw a gigantic cuckoo bird having spastic withdrawals over
it. Talk about getting scared straight!
So for this review, I want to announce something
outright: this is a pretty funny book. I chuckled out loud at least three times
while reading it. Other scenes caused a reflexive smirk and even brief grins.
It wasn’t all fart jokes, either, but honest-to-goodness comedy scenes that
contained humorous moments and elicited joyful tics. I must wonder: did I
change, or did the comic book change? Did the book’s depiction of Hal Jordan as
an over-the-top flirting dudebro tickle me in some specific way or was it just
flat-out funnier than Harley’s ultimately meaningless crossover with Power
Girl? I tell you, it’s left me with some existential anxiety. What is a comic
book? Do comics exist if no one reads them? Does the emotional reaction reside
in the comic, or in the reader? This might explain why Ernie Bushmiller’s Nancy ran for so long.
Anyway, this book begins with two dudes—like, literal
dudes, that say “dude” and everything—camping in Bryce Canyon National Park
when a spaceship crashes nearby. They go check it out, and from it emerges a
dying alien who hands them a box and tells them stuff they can’t understand
because she speaks an alien tongue. She dies, and a week later the two dudes
are in Denver, trying to break open the box in order to sell its contents on
WeBay. Inside are a Green Lantern power ring, and Black Lantern and Red Lantern
power rings in a special case that seems designed to keep them separated. One
of the dudes accidentally splashes milk on the case, which dissolves the
spheres holding the red and black rings, then the rings merge into one…Quinn
Lantern Ring!
There’s a pretty funny page where Harley bids on the
Green Lantern ring but gets outbid by Geoff Johns, then the seller contacts
Harley directly and says he’ll send her the red and black ring for five grand.
She clicks on “Buy It Now” and waits for her package to arrive. Meanwhile, ace
test pilot Hal Jordan flirts his way onto an experimental plane, then flirts
through the air at flirty-flirty miles per hour. While soaring around, he sees
a ship has capsized, so he lands the plane in Hawaii and makes up some nonsense
so he can go rescue them as Green Lantern. While this happens, Harley Quinn’s
new ring arrives (that’s a heck of a delivery service, Denver to Coney Island
in no time) and she puts it on and becomes even more evil and destructive than
ever! She crashes a cop car into a fake brick wall, makes a guy blow up his own
forearm by plugging up his pistol, and spins a car around like a merry go round
(causing the inhabitants to spray vomit everywhere) before smashing it into the
Brooklyn Bridge. This gets the attention of Hal via his ring, so he races cross
country to find Harley being an impudent lil scamp!
So they fight and exchange some pretty comedic
banter, and yes Hal flirts with Harley the whole time here, too. I loved this
aspect of the dialogue, playing up and exaggerating his character was so funny
to me. Maybe it’s because I know it will annoy his eternally supplicant fanboys
to see this. After fighting a while, Harley and Hal agree to settle their
differences with a big power ring arm wrestling match, actually making giant
arms and wrestling in the air right over the Brooklyn Bridge. Quinn appears to
be winning, when Hal takes a shot in the face from an orbiting spaceship, where
the original ring thieves in an Azakarian warship look to reclaim their
property. Harley zips up to fight them, but she is overcome and loses the ring.
Then Hal shows up and he is likewise overpowered. So then Harley Quinn takes
the Green Lantern power ring and clobbers the warship with a giant mallet made
of light! I loved that. Then it ends with Hal kissing Harley and her squeezing
his butt.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the London Legion of
Heroes, those jokers from the last issue of Harley’s
Little Black Book, also made their way to Coney Island to hang out with
Harley, which I suppose we’ll see the fruits of next issue. It seemed so
inconsequential to the main story I didn’t even bother mentioning it. But the
stuff in the main story was gold. The art was, as expected, top notch, and the
jokes were funny—the dialogue between Hal and Harley was genuinely laugh out
loud humorous. Did this book get better, or did my outlook on life get sunnier?
I’d better get on the subway before I lose my hatred for humanity!
Bits and
Pieces:
I am as surprised as you, my loyal tens of billions
of readers: I really enjoyed this issue. And I don’t mean that as a slight against
the comic, but more owning up to a personal epiphany about the character.
Harley Quinn is a goof. She fights against and then teams up with Hal Jordan to
great comedic effect. Plus, you get to see a new Lantern ring, possibly the
most dangerous one of all! I enjoyed the heck out of this silly comic.
8.5/10
No comments:
Post a Comment