Batman and Robin Eternal #10 Review

Nerd Skillz

Written by: Jackson Lanzing and Collin Kelly
Art by: Roge Antonio, Geraldo Borges, Allen Passalaqua and Marilyn Patrizio
Cover Prince: $2.99
Release Date: December 9, 2015

I was not a fan of last week's Batman and Robin Eternal because of one thing...characterization.  Lanzing and Kelly didn't seem to have a full grasp of the characters they were writing, and the situations they put them in felt off.  Plus, everything felt like it was thrown together to get to one thing...Azrael.  I'll admit it, he looked pretty badass, but a cool cliffhanger page does not a great issue make.  So, with all the pieces in place, do Lanzing and Kelly settle in and give us a good story this week?  Let's find out...




We start this week right where we left off last, with Azrael looking like a damn badass!  It's easy to do when you have a large, flaming sword, but he throws in an ominous speech that ends with a 90's action movie one-liner.  Okay, I'm not minding this at all!  Then the issue actually begins.  Fuck!

It's no shock that shit is about to go down, and the fight splits into two brawls...Bane vs. Azrael and Jason Todd and Tim Drake vs. the Priests of St. Dumas.  Immediately, I was pumped for the Azrael/Bane stuff because I imagined it as a twisted kind of Knightfall rematch.  Hey, this is the DCYou where story trumps continuity, right?  I know that I have bitched and moaned about all that, but now we're talking, right?  The sad thing is, the whole thing ended quickly with Azrael laying hands on Bane and making him see the light...or god...or whatever the fuck that suddenly turns him into a sniveling fool.

While I wish there was more to the fight, that's not my major problem with this scene.  No, I was really mad when Azrael used his sword to cut Bane's venom hoses, and venom came out of them. Why would that make me angry?  Because in the last issue, we were told that Bane was off the venom.  What the fuck?!? Which is it?!?!  Unfortunately, that's not the only thing that goes against what we were told last week.  Is anyone else sick of shit like this?

While this is happening, Jason and Tim are fighting the "Friar Tucks," as Jason calls them.  Actually, Tim is fighting them as Jason hacks the St. Dumas Mainframe.  I know that sentence will seem wrong to any fan of either character, but it was not a typo.  Tim is fighting while Jason hacks the mainframe! Lanzing and Kelly think Jason suddenly becomes the computer guy because he is low on bullets.  Ok, I know that Jason is not dumb or anything, but there is a thing called "knowing your role" and also a thing called "knowing your characters."  It seems like Lanzing and Kelly need to be taught lessons in both! It works out in the end since Tim has a crooked stick he can beat guys with.  I hate to repeat myself, but...FUCK!

The nonsense piles up more as Jason hacks into Mother's financial records and decides to run a search for the exact signal wavelength that was being used in Gotham.  I'd like to take it as a compliment,  but this hacking and science make what happened in the movie Weird Science look like Nobel Prize-winning shit!  Now that I think of it, maybe I can get ahold of Lanzing and Kelly, and all my dating problems will disappear!  Don't tell my wife anything about this.  As with everything in this issue, it all works out, and Jason can nail down the wavelength frequency, and away we go.  Broken Record Warning... FUCK!!!

Jason also finds a few other things.  A mysterious "Project: Ichthys," the defenses Tim ran into at Beacon Tower earlier, and "Project: Azrael".  While I question why these projects are being kept in easily spelled-out folders (though I have run into a lot of issues not labeling my stuff properly, so who am I to judge?), they use the information to connect Jean-Paul Valley to the list of  Mother's "Children."

We then return to Prague and see a scene where Bruce is not very happy with Robin.  I know this doesn't surprise anyone, but at least Robin doesn't get slapped...yet.  While Dick was dealing with Mother and Orphan, it seemed that he was out trying to stop the Scarecrow. Bruce plays the angry chief from every action movie and demands that Dick turn in his mask for not doing things by the book, and it ends with Robin storming out of the cave off to who knows where.  This scene felt really forced and strange, knowing what Bruce had been up to lately.

Bruce then heads out as Batman and goes back to Mother.  She told Orphan he'd be back, but even she couldn't have thought it would be this soon.  After telling her a schoolyard story, he looks like he is down with her plan.  I still don't buy it, mainly because it is just thrown into our faces repeatedly.

In the present, Tim and Jason square off against Azrael, and while Jason gets kicked to the curb pretty quickly, Tim fights the good fight.  He tells Azrael his real name and unmasks him, hoping to get him on their side.  It doesn't work, and Azrael lays his hands on Tim (isn't that a Bon Jovi song?), and the reader finds out what it was like to take the brown acid at Woodstock or what Grant Morrison probably calls a Tuesday.  Far out, man.  I don't know why we needed this trippy scene to muck things up...  Lanzing and Kelly did enough to confuse me by just putting pen to paper!

Jason saves the day by grabbing Tim, jumping out a window, and spraying each of them with Shark Repellant.  Yep, the shark repellant makes another appearance! I hated seeing it last issue (I think it is a forced way to try to get nerd cred), but seeing it in action made me want to strangle someone!  I know that is awful, but don't blame me; blame the shark repellent!  Is there such a thing as Bad Writing Repellent?  I may have to formulate that...To the Lab!!! 

Ok, I'm back, and sadly, I failed in my mission to rid the world of shitty writing. Speaking of which, the issue ends with Harper and Dick doing...well, it was a bit confusing. It's a bunch of short scenes that show them gathering information and then scuba diving in British Columbia. The name drop of who Orphan is is pretty cool, and then the issue ends with the appearance of a woman we've seen earlier, but now we know her name...or at least her job description that seems to double as a name in the Mother network.  I guess that makes it easier on everyone but might stifle any chances of promotions later, and that kinda sucks.  Though, I think if you are working for Mother, you have more significant problems on your plate

Batman and Robin Eternal #10 is yet another issue that I didn't like.  This time it wasn't just the characterization but also the dialogue, the story inconsistencies, and the ridiculous shit thrown in everywhere.  I'm sick of sitting through an issue to get to a somewhat exciting cliffhanger and then rinse & repeat, rinse & repeat...

I did like the art for the most part.  Both Roge Antonio and Geraldo Borges do a good job, and while you can tell when they switch up, it's not a jarring transition at all.  The standout page is Tim's freakout, but I also appreciate the straightforwardness of the rest of the book.


Bits and Pieces:

Batman and Robin Eternal #10 moves the overall story along, but it does so with poor dialogue, awful characterizations, and ridiculous situations.  Jackson Lanzing and Collin Kelly were given some cool toys but did nothing with them.  This month's cliffhanger didn't have the zing that last week's issue did, so suffering to get to it felt all the more painful.  I've heard rumblings of people dropping this book, and I only expect them to get louder after this issue.

3.0/10