Superman’s Pal, Apple Pie
Written
By: Francis
Manapul
Art
By: Bong
Dazo, Hi-Fi, Carlos M. Mangual
Cover
Price: $3.99
Release
Date: November
4, 2015
*Non-Spoilers and Score At The Bottom*
What happens when a
being with the powers of a god becomes
a god? Well, they probably don’t have to spring for a new wardrobe. So it is
with Superman, who becomes the god of strength in the pages of the Justice League during that title’s
recent event, The Darkseid War. Does absolute power corrupt Superman
absolutely? Or does it just corrupt him a little bit while leaving his sense of
fair bartering intact? I guess we’ll never know! Thanks for tuning in…wait a
second, there’s a review of this very comic book following my preamble! What
luck! Read on!
Explain It!
As I’ve already
explained in my reviews for the Justice
League: The Darkseid War tie-ins with Batman and the Flash, I have not been
reading the main book. You can check my review of Justice
League: The Darkseid War – Batman #1 to find out why, but the benefit is
that I can read these tie-in issues and gauge their accessibility to new
readers. I’d say that, of all the tie-in issues, this is the most accessible.
You don’t need to know a ton about the New Gods, or Darkseid, or even the
Justice League. All you need to know are the basics about Superman’s life in
Metropolis, and to get the idea that he’s become a god of strength for some
reason. And to make that last point clearer, it’s explained outright in the
very first caption of the story.
One side effect of
becoming the god of strength is that it has turned Clark “Superman” Kent into a
photo negative version of himself, but otherwise he looks pretty much the same.
We open our story with Supes having returned to Earth after being gone for a
while, and to prove that he wasn’t just screwing around, Clark comes back with
the battered exo-suit of a bounty hunter in tow. In fact, he slams it into the
Daily Planet building, presumably so their Human Resources department will mark
him as “on leave” instead of “absent.” Superman plucks the errant alien from
his exo-suit, and of course he’s some little green slimy thing that Superman
finds beneath his contempt. He walks away, feeling his point has been made,
because he has a hankering for some pie.
I’ve got to try the
apple pie at Melvin’s Diner in Metropolis. I’m a decent fan of pie as it is,
but this stuff must be like manna from heaven, because Superman abandons a
crowd of citizens worried that he didn’t beat the slimy alien enough to go get
some. The little alien does take off in an escape pod, though, leaving some
viscous black goop in his wake. Meanwhile, Superman is down at the diner
demanding pie and telling everyone to leave him alone. I mean, this pie must be
fucking incredible because he practically rips off Jimmy Olsen’s head for
talking to him while he eats it. While Superman is munching away, the black
goop issued by the slimy alien has taken over all over Metropolis and stopped
everyone in their tracks, a point Superman notices once he has eaten his third
slice of apple pie.
You can see Clark
wrestling with his god of strength overlay, but ultimately he convinces himself
that he should save Metropolis simply because he is awesome. He blows his
super-breath over the city, freezing the black goop to brittle hardness, then
shatters it with one big punch that must have the force of ten apple pies
behind it! Then, as the crowd below stares up in reverent shock and fear,
Superman flies away to spread the word about Melvin’s Diner’s apple pie: so
good, you’ll delay saving an entire city for it!
Manapul gets his shot
at writing one of these tie-in issues, after providing some beautiful covers
for the series (go check them all out, they’re great), and does a capable if
not entirely memorable job. The storytelling is almost too cookie-cutter,
though I’d prefer that over confusing and experimental layouts. There are
several great single and two page spread
splash pages, which makes this the quickest read out of all the Justice League: The Darkseid War tie-in
issues. The simple nature of the story, however, makes this the uninitiated
reader’s best bet if they just want a slice of the series but don’t want the
whole pie. Damn, I want some apple pie.
Bits and Pieces:
When one of the
strongest beings in the universe becomes the god of strength, well you know
there’s going to be apple pie involved. Superman takes to being a god with all
of the contempt for humanity and egomania you would come to expect with such a
station, I’m sure Ma and Pa Kent would be proud. Luckily, this story gives us
Supergod’s Kryptonite: apple pie. And uh, probably Kryptonite, too. And come to
think of it, his shitty attitude is kind of his hubris, as well. You just can’t
find good omnipotence these days!
6/10
Personally I liked the Flash one over the Superman one. Like Flash in conflict with death is so much more intriguing than superman being an asshole
ReplyDeleteWhat's more memorable flash chasing the black racer or superman demanding some "PIE!"?
DeleteI'm a numbers guy... How much STRONGER is Superman now that he is God Of Strength. 10x, 5x, or could it be all is his head.
ReplyDeleteExactly eleven and a half apple pies stronger--oops! Make that twelve pies now!
DeleteThis still makes me laugh. And makes me want pie!
DeleteI loved this issue. XD It feels like something straight from the Silver age 'Oh no! Supermans been exposed to jerk kryptonite and now hes a jerk!' stories ^^
ReplyDeleteThis is what you get when Richard Pryor makes fake kryptonite, replacing one of ts unknown components, with tar...Asshole Superman.
ReplyDeleteI reeaallly disliked this issue (not as much as THE FLASH issue) but it would have been totally redeemed if it ended with Superman, literally, choking himself out in a junkyard.