Art By: Jesus Merino, Stephen Thompson, Dan Green, Hi-Fi
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: December 31, 2014
You're Grounded!
Welcome back to Five Years From Now or maybe in a few hours, Four Years From Now...........I really don't know how time works between what I'm living and what my favorite heroes are living. So while It might not be New Year's Eve in the DC Universe this is our final foray into the future for 2014 and with it our final recap of things you'll need to know this year. First Madison Payne and Jason Rusch are the new Firestorm and last issue they came in contact with the new Dr. Polaris who's actually Dr. Yamazake, who if you've been reading Futures End know; hates anything Super or Justice Leaguey. Fifty Sue has been put on a mission with a bunch of King Faraday's other agents to recover some DNA samples from Cadmus Island that broke off the main island and fell into the ocean but before the mission can start Lana Lang freaked out when Sue or Sequel as she's calling herself these days pushed her weight around and disintegrated Ethan Boyer's hand. Out in space our Stormwatch team have returned and had to confront Father Time and SHADE and after pulling the alien parasite that actually is Father Time out of his host, Ray Palmer has decreed himself the new leader of SHADE but before the letter heads could be changed at the Ant Farm, Frankenstein was shot and right now it looks fatal. Finally we have Batman Beyond and Plastique getting a little closer than I would of originally suspected and Brother Eye sending his Batman.Joker monster back in time to stop Batman Beyond before he can alter the future................So we've got a Terminator scenario going on. That's all you should need to know, so let's check out what this issue has in store for us this week.
Explain It!:
This story begins with Firestorm coming to from having a cement mixer that she turned into a teddy bear fall on her.............. Equal size and weight, so not a cuddly bear. Now here's something that I don't quite understand. Firestorm and Dr. Polaris fight and the Doc shoots a small piece of metal at Firestorm and it shoots through her................ and she doesn't explode. I was pretty certain that if you pieced Firestorm, a nuclear explosion would ensue. Am I wrong in my assumptions? I'm pretty sure I saw this happen to Ronnie Raymond way back in the old continuity, so why no 'spody here? While Firestorm is all down and out from having something go through her, Cal Corcoran (Tim Drake) rushes Doctor Polaris trying to help out and like Firestorm gets pretty hurt. We end this section of the story with Firestorm getting up, punching Doctor Polaris out of his armor and leaving nothing behind, confusing Jason Rusch about what Dr. Yamazake actually is now and Firestorm picking up Cal and taking him to safety...............kissing him and telling him that she loves him and kinda giving Jason the wigs. Come on Jason, you're in college. Like you've never kissed a dude before..........Maybe college was different for different people.
Next we see Lana Lang still crying over the monster that is Fifty Sue and finally having enough of her "I can kill whoever I want" nonsense. Lana tells Sue that she will be her mother but it will be on her own terms and Lana gets a little bad ass as she puts Fifty Sue into her place with a slap to the face. We leave this section, which to me is the most boring of all the stories that we're dealing with and I'm kind of renewed on the whole thing. If Fifty Sue is going to stop scaring the hell out of me and is actually put on a "no killing" leash like Arnold in Terminator 2, well this will definitely add a new aspect to this story and might make me more of a fan.......... We'll just have to wait and see on that note though, I just really dig Lana standing up to the tiny terror............. I swear if I was watching this on TV I would of been doing it from behind the sofa andthrough my fingers because man was I afraid that Lana was going to get punished for her attitude.
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| THE SLAP SEEN AROUND THE WORLD AS WE WAITED WITH BATED BREATH TO SEE THE OUTCOME |
Out in space, the new Stormwatch crew is trying to have a peaceful and straightforward takeover of SHADE but most of the staff and monsters are continuing to be loyal to Father Time, so nobody is really happy about the new management.............Looks like Hawkman will have to write a few pink slips.................IN BLOOD! Besides for that though this section is really a catch up for people who haven't been following. You know like Frankenstein being undead and his new Nth Metal arm mixing badly with that and making him mortal. Frankenstein is in bad shape people and since Ray Palmer can't really do anything for him, Amethyst decides that she's going to take him to Earth and do a little magical rooting around in him, hopefully doing something positive.
Finally we head back over to NYC where Batman Beyond still can't get his Alfred A.I. back online and Brother Eye's Batman/Joker monster has come back in time and has run right into Plastique. After hearing a scream Batman Beyond springs into action to save his apparent lady love and a Batman that's been watching them from the shadows jumps into action as well. Terry saves the girl while Bruce confronts what he'll become in the future and I don't know if it's because the monster is overpowered, this is the Bruce that is in bad shape in the future (Futures End month wasn't really clear what Batman's limitations were these days) or if he was just in shock from seeing himself merged in a robot body with the Joker but Batman goes down hard people. It's a good thing that the monster won't kill him because it would make it nonexistent and it's a good thing that this doesn't have Time Cop rules because the end of this issue would have been really gross.
That's it for this issue and this year........... Did I mention it was New Year's Eve? WOO!!! As an issue to close out 2014, I really dig where everything is going. This title has had some serious problems with highs and lows over the course of 36 issues and as of right now I think that we've kind of evened out and I can go into this series each week and can expect an even keeled book .............Especially now that I know Fifty Sue won't be going around killing folks from now on. This was a great issue, moving each story further and I can't wait to see what next year has in store for us. I'm not really good with critiquing art so I try to shy away from it but Jesus Merino and Stephen Thompson are on pencils this week and with Dan Green on inks and the always wonderful Hi-Fi on colors we just have another great looking book. I'm pretty sure I've said this before and probably pretty recently but I don't think there's been a bad looking book in this series. See you next week as we hop on our time machines and check out what the future holds for our heroes. See you then.
Bits and Pieces:
The future is a dark and miserable place but man is it fun to read about! Each of the stories this week were great and I love the direction that everyone is going..........Even the bits with Fifty Sue that I've been bitching about lately............ So yeah, I'm a fan of everything here and I can't wait to see what DC has in store for us with Futures End next year. Go check it out and get your future fix.
8.8/10
I don't know why I didn't put this in the review or why I don't go back and put it in now............... but the cover to this issue is one of the best in the series and I kind of want a print of it. This would look great hanging from a wall.
ReplyDeleteYou know what they call the no armed, no legged man hanging on the wall? They call him Ryan.
DeleteBOO! Not even any context here to make you not look like an idiot. Boo sir, boo!
Deleteare you saying Boo-urns? Go hang your prints on your wall
Delete