Teen Titans #5 Review and *SPOILERS*

Written By: Will Pfeifer
Art By: Scott Hepburn, Dan Brown
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: December 17, 2014

I Only Villain Socially

Okay all you Titan fans we're back with another exciting issue of the Teens that take it to the streets....... That's right Doobie Brothers style.  Last issue we saw Red Robin taking on the nanobot Algorithm inside STAR Labs but in the end we saw that the whole bad guy behavior was a put on orchestrated by STAR Labs employee Manchester Black, to see what the Titans were made of.  Everybody got that?  Algorithm was a puppet for Black and after Red Robin saved Black from the nanobot nightmare, Black got to come off all thankful for the superheroics and offers the Teen Titans the chance to work for STAR Labs and with the perks of superheroing under a corporate logo, it looks like our heroes are selling out.  Let's see how the new job title is affecting our Titans.

Explain It!:

Our story begins with Red Robin trying to talk everyone into joining up with STAR Labs and the only problem he's really having with it is.......... Everyone is pretty much all for it.  Being the genius Red Robin is, he figures that it sounds too good to be true and has Beast Boy go and check out what's going on inside STAR Labs and to see what Manchester Black is all about and he does it the grossest way possible.  Well I guess there could be grosser ways but he sneaks in on the scalp of some poor employee who now thinks he has lice..........because for a small amount of time he did............ Beast Boy lice.  Gross Gar, Gross.

The only Titan that wasn't around for the group meeting was Wonder Girl and that's because her wayward mother seems to be in town and after blowing her off last issue to help Red Robin fight Algorithm, well Cassie has to make up the mother daughter time.  Now this bit is weird to me.  Remember last issue how the Wonder Girl Gang seemed to be just waiting outside of Cassie's apartment?  Well they were...........trust me.  Well now they just seem to be following Cassie and her mom around as they walk and talk.  I'd still like to know if they know who Wonder Girl is and where she lived or if they just happened to show up out of sheer coincidence.  This issue does little to answer my questions there.

Mommy Daughter time will have to be put on hold though because a bunch of asshole rich kids take themselves some drugs that give you different superpowers each time you take a pill and now that they're feeling the meta high, they decide it would be even more fun to seriously hurt people.......... Now I don't know if this is how kids today actually think but I kind of believe it and that's why I don't leave my house boys and girls.  So now it's Wonder Girl vs a group of wanna be bad guys and even with their inexperience, they manage to overpower our hero.

In the end, Cassie calls the rest of the Titans in as backup and when Cassie yells for the Wonder Girl Gang to make sure that her mother gets to safety, one of the terror teens chucks a car at her.......... because that's what teenagers think is a good time I guess.  Even though none of our heroes could get to Cassie's mother in time, a new hero emerges out of the Wonder Girl Gang and pushes Cassie's mother out of the way and lifts the car by herself.   Our story ends with all of the Titans being gobsmacked at what they just witnessed.  Acting like they've never seen superpowers before.

What You Talking Bout DC?

While I'm all for adding to the Titan roster, I'd like to know why we'd choose to take a brilliant young scientist like Tanya Spears and turn her into one of the fangirls of Wonder Girl who go around beating petty criminals with baseball bats.  It really seems demeaning and counterproductive to get this character on the wrong track right from the get go.  I mean we actually have a smart and strong female character that could be introduced in anyway that would be respectful to who we've seen this character to be in Worlds' Finest but instead we're given Tanya being fangirl in a gang.  It just really seems like the worst decision possible.

That's it for this issue of Teen Titans and while I'm not fond of the way that Tanya Spears was introduced into this series, I do have to say that I'm excited to see her become the new Prime-Earth Power Girl and hope to see her take on her own persona as time goes on.  Her becoming a new member is way more interesting than anything that is going on with Manchester Black and STAR Labs right now and I don't know if that's because I can't buy STAR Labs hiring a guy who doesn't wear a shirt to the office just so everyone can see his big union jack tattoo on his chest or if I really just dislike the character.  Maybe a little from column A and a little from column B.  Besides for bad introductions and the British not wearing shirts, we've got Scott Hepburn on art this week and while some facial expressions seem like strange choices, I do have to say that I like this style for the book more than Kenneth Rocafort's art on issues #1-#4.  Make sure you're back here next month as we see what Will Pfeifer has in store of Tanya Spears and if second impressions are better than the first.  See you then.

Bits and Pieces:

Even though we're continuing with the story line from last month, now that Algorithm is out of the picture and we actually know what's going on, it seems to be a lot less interesting.  Combine that with superpowered overprivileged asshole teenagers and the dumbing down of another female character and we have ourselves one great big mess of an issue.  Our heroes are still not feeling like a team and I doubt the inclusion of another member will change that.  The only positive thing I really see in this issue is Scott Hepburn's artwork.  I really hope he stays on the series because I enjoyed what he brought to the party.

5/10