Art By: Aaron Lopresti
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: October 8, 2014
That's A Big Twinkie......... I Mean Brainiac
Last time we looked into the future and saw our asshole like heroes, we saw Hawkman, Amethyst and Frankenstein meeting their captor for the first time and man was it a huge as Brainiac monster. Luckily Ray Palmer showed up right in the nick of time with Black Adam, who he released from the Phantom Zone. So it looks like we'll have a bunch of Davids running around a Goliath this issue. We also saw more of Voodoo and Mercy who seem to be running from assassins and I apologize because last issue I told you that Mercy was Faraday's daugher.... It seems that she's simply his niece. Hopefully we'll find out what these characters are up to and make some sense out of their story. Madison Payne has left Red Robin... er I mean Cal Corcoran and maybe we'll see some more on that and Thirty Five Years From Now we saw Brother Eye doing brain surgery to Bruce Wayne to find out how to create a time machine to stop Batman Beyond from interfering with it in the past, oh and Joker's still alive in that future and we'll look at a bit of that today. Let's check out this week's Five Years From Now and see what problems our heroes have to face this week.
Explain It!:
Our story begins with Ray Palmer and Black Adam coming to the rescue of Frankenstein, Amethyst and Hawkman as a gigantic Brainiac towers over them. Black Adam gets grabbed right away and we find out that this Brainiac apparently has a bunch of different versions of Black Adam in his collection but the three main heroes are special because he doesn't have any versions of them....... So I guess this Brainiac is the original one that we saw in Futures End month and that he's traveled the multiverse collecting heroes for his collection. Man this New 52 is getting strange. Anyway Ray Palmer wants Black Adam to create a distraction so they can get past Brainiac's foot soldiers that look like the Brainiac from the 80's
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| YOU KNOW, LIKE THIS |
Black Adam "SHAZAM's" the hell out of the area and our heroes make it back to Palmer's ship "The Nan-Knight" and they fly off with Black Adam holding on tight to the side. Unfortunately it does't seem like Brainiac's ready to give up his prizes and sends an armada after our heroes. Oh and Hawkman grabbed the converted Engineer and brought her along. I'm sure that won't bite our heroes in the asses later on.
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| SUCK MY LIGHTNING! |
We cut from the action and head back to Earth at this point to see that Madison Payne is jogging while thinking about the night she left Tim Drake because he lied about his past. I don't know if I can get behind how mad she is even with her father lying to her growing up and now serving prison time. He's Red Robin! He fought the damn Earth 2 war and lost all his friends in the process, yeah he kept it from you but he wanted to move on with a life that didn't revolve around death. Maybe my opinion is based too much on me putting myself in Tim Drake's shoes and not enough in Madison's, but nonetheless she needs to get over this. All of Madison's thoughts eventually lead to Ronnie Raymond running into her and him wanting to apologize for being a jerk and hitting on her the other week and to show how sorry he is, he asks her if she'd like to have a cup of coffee with him, which she accepts. Poor Tim Drake for some reason is now stalking Madison and sees this all go down and we leave this story with a hurt look on our former Teen Titan's face. Quit being creepy Tim!
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| PRETTY CREEPY, TIM |
Now we're at the point of the story which I've been having trouble following. Remember how Voodoo, Mercy, Banger and Mash were trying to keep away from assassins and King Faraday and the like? Well I'm not sure but I get the impression that these girls once worked for the government or at least ran a fowl of the government at some point and now they're meeting up with the once SGT Rock to possibly kill him or get his assassins off their backs. We find out that he sent the assassins as a kind of calling card to drawl them to him and also he needed those guys killed anyway, so two birds, one stone and all that. It seems that Rock wants to hire these girls to actually kill Fifty Sue since the government does't trust Cadmus and I bet her having god like powers doesn't help either. For whatever reason now that they've gone to meet up with Sgt. Rock, Fifty Sue will be drawn to them and that can't be good for anyone. So even though they refused to kill Fifty Sue, they might at least have to try once the tiny terror finds them.
In the end we jump ahead Thirty Five Years From Now where Brother Eye is talking to Mister Terrific about feeling feelings, but whether that is true or if Brother Eye is just screwing with Mister T I don't know and it doesn't matter. Since Bruce Wayne created a time machine and sent Batman Beyond back in time to stop Brother Eye, Brother Eye has created an agent to send back and stop Batman Beyond. The only part of this that doesn't jive with me is that it's a borg Batman who's like a Man-E-Faces from He-Man. One side of the head is Batman and the other side is The Joker and for whatever reason Brother Eye has decided to allow them to keep their memories and personalities...... So it's the worst fate ever for Batman.......... ever.
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| YEAH......... THAT'S PRETTY MESSED UP RIGHT THERE |
That's it for this week's Futures End and man am I glad that they picked up the pace a little bit. Yeah reading the bits about Madison Payne made the book a little slow as we sat and stared at her hurt feelings over being lied to but the rest of the story had a lot to offer, well the stuff with Voodoo and Mercy had a little to offer but at least it's a direction for us to figure out who these characters with the exception of Voodoo are and maybe give them some depth so we actually care abou them. I don't know I'm just really interested in the stuff with Brainiac and this awful Batman/Joker monster from the future. See you next week when hopefully we'll dive into some more interesting stuff and the story lays off the brakes a little.
Bits and Pieces:
Aaron Lopresti continues to shine in this series and makes everything great to look at....... Even the boring stuff. Talking about the boring stuff there was some here in dealing with Red Robin's girlfriend and characters that are still a bit of mystery to me when it comes to their purpose in this book, but I have faith that all will be revealed and I can eat all my misguided words against them. But even with what I consider the boring parts, it didn't do much to keep me from enjoying this week's issue and when things got exciting it overshadowed anything that I might be able to bitch about. Go check this out and continue your foray into the strange land of Five Years From Now.
7.8/10
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