Art By: Doug Mahnke
Cover Price: $3.99
Release Date: June 25, 2014
One Ring To Destroy Them All
The last issue of Justice League saw a brave new world for us to explore where Lex Luthor is the world's greatest hero, and it's driving Superman fucking nuts. Luthor creates a new Watchtower for the League, and brings in Shazam to add some muscle to the group. Only problem is none of the League want Luthor on the team. It was like watching a kid get rejected by a pretty girl. It was just awkward to see. So what does Luthor do when he doesn't get his way? Well apparently he goes and figures out that Bruce Wayne is Batman. That's what he does right? If that wasn't bad enough Power Ring's ring is still out there and the League need it's data to find out what's coming from Earth 3, and in the end we see that the ring has found a new host in a very scared woman named Jessica Cruz. Let's see what trouble the Justice League can get in with it's ever evolving team and story.
Explain It!:
The issue begins with the Power Ring telling Jessica Cruz that she was chosen to be it's host and to annihilate the world because after she was attacked four years ago and her assailants were never caught she locked herself away in her apartment, too afraid to be out in the world. As afraid as Jessica might be she still tries to give the ring the finger by shooting it with a shotgun, but all that does is make the ring prefer to do things the hard way. This isn't much information to really dig the character yet, but I already find myself doing just that.
It's really funny to see Captain Cold in this issue try to figure out his place in a world where everyone sees him as a hero, and pretty much treat him like a celebrity. But I guess he'll at least have to try since Lex Luthor has Mercy Graves showing him around LexCorp, where he's been offered a job. What we take away from Captain Cold's segment of this story is that we still shouldn't trust Lex Luthor. I don't know what Lex is up to but Captain Cold has to go through a physical and mental evaluation, but it seems that the lab technicians are only interested in his blood sample for something that Lex has named Project: Wannabe. I really don't know what Luthor could be after since Captain Cold's DNA was changed back to normal by Deathstorm in Forever Evil. I guess we'll just have to wait and see, and get really pissed off that we don't have instant gratification.
The reason that Lex didn't meet Captain Cold at LexCorp himself is because he's busy in Gotham like we saw in the last issue trying to out Bruce Wayne as Batman. We enter Wayne Manor to find Bruce and Lex sitting in the den sipping bourbon and Bruce explaining the preposterousness of Lex's accusations to him being Gotham's Dark Knight. During their conversation Lex notices small clues about the room which lead his eye to the clock on the wall, and before Bruce can walk away from the conversation, Lex produces a gun and points it at our hero. Alfred tries to step in but it all leads to Lex shooting the secret clock entrance to the Batcave with exploding rounds, and exposing Bruce for the Batman he is. Now that the charade is over Bruce finally asks Lex what he wants, and it comes as no surprise that he wants Bruce to help the other Leaguers to accept him into the group. Bruce says no, and proceeds to tell Lex why by reciting the story of the Scorpion and The Frog. At this point I was starting to get a little pissed that we'd take time for a age old tale that everyone knows, but he continues the story with his own mix that before the scorpion can sting the frog a bat grabs the scorpion and dines on it while the frog swims away. As pissed as I was for that brief moment I was so happy that this was added to the story and seeing Bruce tell Lex that he won't let him sting the frog. So Lex leaves right when Superman calls Bruce to tell him that they have found Power Rings energy signature and to get to the location. That's going to be an interesting conversation when they take care of their Power Ring problem.
There are so many great things going on in this book from what we've already talked about to Cyborg and Shazam having some bonding time in the Watchtower complete with hilarious conversations, but what this issue all comes down to is the awesome finale where we see Jessica Cruz rampaging through a city while it's people run in terror. Jessica wants the Power Ring to stop what it's doing and cries out that she needs help, and even with the Justice League not being there yet, help arrives. Oh yes boys and girls we finally see The Doom Patrol in all their glory. Chief, Robot Man, Negative Man, Elasti-Girl, and Element Woman. Mystery solved on where she got to after Forever Evil, but still no sign of Vibe, but the mother fucking DOOM PATROL! WOO! Not only that but it's MY Doom Patrol. I know that sounds ridiculous claiming it as my own, but I really don't care and to quote Stephen The Mad Irishman from Braveheart "It's Mine".
That's it for this month's thrilling issue of Justice League, hopefully since this series is running behind DC will push it up, but that's me mostly making wishes on a used up monkey paw. Make sure you're back here next month to talk about (my) The Doom Patrol, Lex's obsession with Captain Cold's blood, and whether or not Jessica Cruz will be a contender against Sinestro's Heavy Weight Fear Championship Title.
Bits and Pieces:
I'm not sure if I'm ashamed to tell you that I'm giddy after reading this issue. Well fuck it, shame doesn't really matter after what Geoff Johns and Doug Mahnke have given us right here. Is it safe to assume that Geoff Johns is some kind of magic man? Everything that guy touches makes me into a kid again, and makes me feel like I'm reading my first comic. So after you're done reading all my praise and slobbering over this book and the creators, make sure you go get this issue. Act like it's the single most important thing you have to do because it's well worth it, and after if you feel it wasn't all that important for you to read then you are obviously dead inside and superhero comics aren't for you. Is that straight forward enough? Go get this issue.
9.7/10
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