Art By: Chad Hardin
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: May 21, 2014
Give Me, De Chromium Leg
Welcome back, and for those of you who aren't in the know, Harley has teamed up with a elderly Six Million Dollar Man wannabe, and the two plan on killing all the people that this Sy-Borg left behind at the end of the Cold War. When you get older you get a bit nostalgic about the people that you didn't kill when you were young, and since these are really bad people that are living in the states, Harley is down with some late night volunteer work with the elderly, especially since Sy is keeping her past a secret from her current employer. Last issue the two crossed a name off their list, and it looked like Harley might have exploded with the second name on the list at the end of story. Let's see if Harley survived to continue her title, and let's see how many they can cross off their list this time.
Explain It!:
When we open this issue we see a TV news helicopter sweeping the house of Harley and Sy's target. As the house explodes, (as we saw in last issue) a grappling hook wraps around the helicopter and pulls Harley, Sy, and their target free of the whole exploding house thing. But saving these Russians isn't part of the plan and Harley drops her back down into the raging inferno. Scratch her off the list.
Harley commandeers the helicopter, and the two fly off to their next target "The Bear" at the Prospect Park Zoo. The Bear used to interrogate people by feeding their families to bears while they were forced to watch, hence the nickname. But as Harley and Sy sneak into the zoo where he's employed as the night security, The Bear is waiting for them, and awakens a group of bears to get ready for the fight. I guess bears don't like getting woke up with a kick to the head though, because they do all of Harley and Sy's work for them. So The Bear's dead, but he called in a bunch of his old Ruskie buddies to finally take down their old enemy Syborg.
For this group of Cold War villains we get hilarious Russian bad guy names. Kosta Armanoleg, Borya Tatierski, Yuri Beyznatofin, and Zena Bendemova. It's a stretch for me to believe, but for those of you out there that don't get it I'll help ya out. The first name Cost Ya An Arm And A Leg, Bore Ya To Tears.....Ski, Yuri Bathes Not Often, and Zena Bend Me Over. Alright now everyone's in on the joke, moving on. One by one Harley and Syborg take out the Red Dawn rejects, until finally only Zena is left. Sy tries out his James Bond impersonation, and the two begin making out. But as we Bond lovers know, you can't trust a once bombshell spy. Zena pulls a knife out, but Sy is quick with his suped up rascal, and flings her into the Rhino pen, and she's...... well she's impaled on a rhino horn. Make your own innuendo joke. All of Sy's old Russian villains are dead, but there's one more name on the list, and this one is the most despicable.
The last target is awoken by the two entering his bedroom. We hear about how Sy once bought a 1959 El Torito from this man, and when he was driving down the Cross Bronx Expressway it overheated. It took him twenty minutes to return with coolant, but in that twenty minutes people had stripped his car completely clean. Apparently the radiator leaked, and if this man had told Sy about it, he'd still have his car, and would be able to give it to Harley. Harley being pissed that she got screwed out of a car, throws the man out the window on principal. All Sy ever wanted was that 59 El Torito. Yeah I'm not sure who's the crazy one anymore either.
In the end Sy and Harley watch the sunrise, and the two part ways after a job well done. But once Harley gets back home she finds Poison Ivy waiting for her with some good news. Ivy knows who put the hit out on Harley. So I guess next time we'll be tracking down the person who has a grudge on our favorite psychopath. See you then.
Bits and Pieces:
This was a fun little romp but I'll be happy to get back to a larger story than Harley killing Russians with a elderly Six Million Dollar Man. Not a lot of books give me that whole "Laugh Out Loud" experience, but this one seems to invoke the cartoon violence loving kid inside of me, and it's a lot of fun to sit back and jump into the mind of a Loony Tune like Harley. So if you haven't been reading this title for some reason, make sure you do and join the silliness with the rest of us.
7.8/10
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