Art By: Stephane Roux
Cover Price: $2.99
Release Date: March 19, 2014
Harley Stabbed First
When last we saw our insane anti-hero..... anti-hero or anti-villain? Either way when last we saw Harley, she was fighting off a city of lust junkies who were getting high on her pheromones. Luckily she survived St. Valentines Day unscathed, that's more than I can say for most people who dress up like clowns, and walk the streets of New York. So let's continue the zany antics of our favorite registered psychiatrist/roller derby girl.
Explain It!:
First day at a new job is always stressful. Now image you have to cover up your bleached skin, and look like a respectable doctor. Well looking the way you do, it's damn near impossible. But Harley manages to do it with style. So on with her first session. Harley listens to a Mrs. Rubenstein tell her how her son and his family never visit her. Poor old Mrs. R only has sweet sweet death to look forward to. So Harley being the good doctor she is, decides to get involved. She finds out Mrs. R's son's address, and pays the family a little visit.
The Rubenstein's are going through a normal day. The missus is busy trying to sell vibrators to lonely housewives, the son is engrossed in killing things on his video game device, and the man of the house is hole up in the basement, playing with his train set. Harley grabs a bulldozer to knock on the door, and beats the crap out of each of the family members, then throws them in the truck of their car.
After a rough morning, Harley sits back at a diner and enjoys the finer things in life; french fries. That is until another assassin comes in looking to collect on the bounty. Now this is a truly spectacular scene. The two banter for a bit, and in the end we're given the cantina scene from Star Wars. Special Edition or not, this is fun. Hell the mug looking for the bounty is even named Guido. Harley stabbed first, just awesome.
Now it's time for the second job, but thanks to that wretched scum she's late. By the time Harley gets to the roller derby her team has already lost, and the girls are pretty pissed at her for missing the match. So to make it up to them, Harley runs the opposing team down with her car. Image if life were just that simple. Oh god I can't stop imagining!
Okay it's time to deal with the awful Rubenstein family. Harley takes them (hog tied) out to an end of a pier. She berates them and one by one kicks them off the pier. The son, the wife, but at the end, she asks Mrs. R's son why he can't visit his poor mother. He tells her that they visit all the time, and that she suffers from alzheimer's. Well doesn't Harley feel silly. Luckily for the Rubinstein family that it was low tide, and they're no worse for wear. Harley decides that she should start reading her patient's files before jumping into action.
In the end, Harley is back at her office going over her patient's files, when a elderly man in a wheelchair enters the room. He knows all about her, and before she totally murders him, he tells her that he's not there to out her, but to help her. He tells her that when he was young, he worked for the government. He was badly hurt and they turned him into a six million dollar man, named Syborg. Oh oh, I forgot to tell you, this gentleman's name is Sy Borgman. Ha ha. That's the problem with comics, if you have a name like that something is bound to happen to you. So this Syborg is now wheelchair bound because he can't hold up the weight of his robotic body parts, and he needs Harley to help him take down the last leg of the Russian organization he was supposed to stop. Syborg convinces Harley to help with a patriotic speech, but I still don't see how he's helping her, it seems that he's not outing her, so she can help him. I don't know, but this means that next issue it's team up time!
Bits and Pieces:
This series is consistently a good time, and this issue is no exception. We seem to be moving towards an ongoing story by the end of the issue, and it seems hilarious the amount of things that Harley seems to take on, and still try to have a normal life. Well a normal life with a hit put out on her. Conner and Palmiotti continue to put a smile on my face, and seem like they generally enjoy everything they do with this title. Go check it out, all the cool kids are doing it.
8.5/10
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